Home Wrecker
by LethanWolf
Summary: Ichigo is married to Orihime but he isn't able to fully perform for her. Falling into depression he goes to see a Doctor about the issue and finds he has no problem performing for the sexy Dr Hitsugaya. Toshiro/Ichigo pairing with Ichigo/Orihime implied.
1. Shame, shame, shame

**I got the urge to write this. So I did. This will likely only be like 3 chapters long. So chill out, don't worry still working on Forgotten Snowflakes and Sex Games and Mind of an Ice Princess.**

 **XxXxX**

How I landed myself in this position I have no idea. I came here to make Orihime happy more than anything. I could actually feel the shame washing over me. We'd been married for about a year now and she was the one who wanted to wait until we were married before we had sex, only to find out that we couldn't or rather, that _I_ couldn't.

Sometimes I'd manage to get it up for a little while then it would go back down, at the beginning of our marriage that's what had been happening. I'd get it up long enough to actually penetrate her but then it'd die instantly afterwards. I was young. I was only 28 it wasn't like I was an old man. I was putting it down to stage fright at first given the fact that Orihime was my first, I know what you're all thinking. How did I go for so long?

I'd never really found myself attracted to anyone, I was always far too busy for relationships and didn't have much of a libido. I guess I never really thought there was anything wrong with me. I was attracted to Orihime as far as women went she was one of the prettiest but mostly her constant pursuit to enter into a relationship with me just eventually wore me down. When she said no sex before marriage I was actually okay with that but who knew I couldn't have sex at all.

Now here I was sitting in my fathers clinic and waiting to be seen by his prodigy doctor. When I'd first wanted to go see a doctor I didn't want it to be my father, but given the fact I was off work with depression just now I couldn't afford to go to any other clinic. My father was going to treat me for free and offered to see me himself but I stated it would be too embarrassing and awkward. He only had two other doctors who worked at the 10th Division Clinic. Dr Matsumoto who was more specialised in women's issues, pregnancy and maternity and Dr Hitsugaya who was the young prodigy doctor set to take over my father's clinic when he retired.

At the request to see a male doctor it was Dr Hitsugaya I had been put down to see. I'd heard my father speaking about him a lot, he mentioned him all the time but I'd yet to actually meet the young genius despite having heard so much about him.

'Mr Kurosaki?' a voice called, the octave a lot higher than I expected as I turned around to look for the doctor.

My jaw dropped, metaphorically speaking of course. He was about an inch or two taller than my little sisters, with hair as white as fallen snow. Large teal eyes gazed at me through delicate rectangular glasses which sat perched on the tip of a tiny button nose. His lips looked small on his face, but plump, just not stretched into a smile. I quickly stood up and walked up to him, he didn't smile as he me but instead he took the clipboard from my hand that I had been filling out my details on. He turned and we walked down the hall. His lab coat billowed behind him and he moved quickly considering his size and how short his legs were. He led me into his office which smelt of medical supplies and antiseptic wipes as I sat down in the chair beside his desk. He was glancing over my details on the clipboard, as he sat down too, his massive eyes skimming the lines and the end of a pen gently touching his plump lower lip.

'Alright then Mr Kurosaki, Dr Kurosaki has informed me to carry out all necessary checks to help you today. So we don't have to worry about costs.' He placed the clipboard down on his desk along with the pen and turned and took his glasses off. His eyes were framed with lashes so thick and black they'd make any woman jealous. 'He didn't tell me what you wanted to see me about today.'

Oh god.

I didn't want to have this conversation with this beautiful man. I couldn't. But I knew if I didn't I'd be suffering the same problem without a real hope of resolution. He must have been watching me closely as I clasped and unclasped my hands on my lap, I could feel my face heating up and he took the awkward silence to pretty much guess.

'I know you requested a male doctor for this, so I am assuming it has something to do with a very personal matter. I am here to help but you need to talk to me.' His voice was cool and crisp and comforting. It was the kind of voice that would have no issue drawing out information from any of his clients. I took a deep sigh, I'd have to tell someone sometime and I couldn't wait around for an ugly middle aged man to poke and prod at me.

'It's… well. I've been married for nearly a year and I've been struggling to…' I didn't know how to put this into words. As if getting it from this short information alone though he continued for me when it was clear I was done.

'I see,' he turned around and typed something into his computer, 'there's nothing to be ashamed of Mr Kurosaki, erectile dysfunction is very common. A lot more common than the media would have you believe. On average I get about six or seven patients a week with the issue.'

This made me feel a little better but I still couldn't look at him. The shame was overwhelming. I didn't want this very attractive male doctor knowing I had issues getting it up. Why? I wasn't very sure.

'I need to ask you some questions of a very personal nature and I need you to be as honest as you can so we can figure out what the root cause of the issue is.' I nodded shyly at him but still couldn't make eye contact with him.

'Okay I need you to tell me if you can get hard at all?'

I groaned my embarrassment which just seemed to amuse him. When I flashed my eyes back to his I saw a smile tugging at his lips.

'At the beginning yes I could but now…'

'When was the last time you were able to reach full stiffness?'

How could he ask these questions so easily? What was wrong with him?

'Probably about seven months ago,' I ran a hand through my orange spikes.

'Alright,' his smile had fallen from his face and there seemed be a frown now. I clenched my jaw and decided to continue looking at him like a man. 'Is that around the same time you came down with depression?' he asked glancing back to look at my file.

'Yes,' I sighed, though I'd only been signed off work with depression recently it was all getting worse and worse.

'Okay Mr Kurosaki I know it's a sensitive topic but I need you to give me a bit more information on exactly when it happens and your sexual experiences,' he started, 'tell me when it started to get worse.'

'Like I said I could get hard at first but then, it would get soft sometimes when I was in the middle of sex.' I had to look away again and I glanced down at the corner of the desk instead. 'Then I started to get depressed about it, I'm young and I kept in shape and ate well. It shouldn't have been happening to me. It didn't make sense.' I crossed my arms across my chest. 'Then I started to look for excuses to not have sex. I literally feel like the one thing that's expected of me as a man is the one thing I cannot provide her.'

I couldn't believe I was saying all this but now that I'd started it seemed easier to keep going. He seemed to notice this too and instead scribbled notes on the paper on his desk as I spoke.

'I think the depression was brought on by the fact that I couldn't perform and then the depression just made it worse.' I sighed and ran a hand down my face. I was done talking about it.

'I see thank you,' he gave me an encouraging and gentle smile that made my throat clench. 'Have you been with any sexual partners before your marriage?'

'No, she's been the only one.'

He made another little note on his desk.

'Can you get an erection on your own or when you wake up in the morning?'

'No, I mean…' I tried to think back it was really hard to remember. 'I've not exactly tried any form of… masturbation.' Why was this so incredibly uncomfortable to talk about?

'I see and your sexual orientation is it just women?'

I had to wonder why this question was appropriate.

'Just women.'

He made another little note down on his paper.

'And you've not had an orgasm in how long?'

'Well, a long time, maybe around the time Orihime and I first got engaged, over a year ago?'

'I see,' he made another little note in his paper. 'And do you find any kind of arousal happening? Perhaps when you're watching someone on television or when you're walking down the street and see someone who looks physically pleasing?'

'No, not for a long time.'

'Alright,' he made another little note in his paper then pushed back from his desk to walk over to cupboard. He pulled out a machine that I knew took blood pressure readings and set it down on his desk. 'That's it for the personal questions I promise,' he gave me another charming smile and I felt my mouth go dry. 'I want to take some measurements to make sure you're healthy for your age and height just in case this is causing any issues. Can you stand up for me please?'

I got up obediently and he pointed to the wall where there was something to measure my height. I had to smile as he used the little step ladder beside it to stand on to actually get the reading as he brought the top of the metal plate down against my orange spikes. He had his notepad in his hand and scribbled something into it then got me to stand on the scales next. As we did all this his questions took a more appropriate route.

'How often do you exercise?'

'I used to exercise heavily at least three times a week but every day I'd go out for a thirty minute run at lunch time. Since coming off work three weeks ago though I've not exercised at all.'

'How is your diet?'

'I still eat well. Orihime isn't much of a cook so I do the cooking for us both.' I said and he seemed to be trying to lighten the mood with a bit of chat.

'That's good, I can't cook for myself at all,' he offered me another kind smile. It was clearly a doctor smile now that I looked close enough because not one single smile of his had actually reached his eyes. Now that I thought about it, they looked a little forced. I found myself wondering why?

'Can you lift your shirt up for me please, I'm going to check your heart and I want to take a waist measurement as well,' he popped his stethoscope into his ears as and I did as I was told lifting it up. He placed the cold metal against my skin and I squirmed away. He glanced at me apologetically and heated the base with his hand before reapplying it. It didn't really help much and I had to wonder just how cold his hands were.

'Heart rate is normal,' he said after a moment and pulled a measurement tape out. I stood and he wrapped it around my waist. I felt my entire body shiver as his fingers grazed my skin. His hands _were_ cold but that wasn't why I shivered. His face had such an adorable look of concentration on it as he went about reading the measurement, it was clear he struggled with his sight a little as he squinted his eyes at the measuring tape.

'Your weight is a little under for your age and height,' he commented, 'but nothing that should be causing any major concerns.'

I really wanted to make a sexual joke but I figured it would be appropriate of me given what I'm here for.

'I want to test your blood pressure next,' he brought the machine out and I tried to roll the sleeve of my shirt up far enough to let him wrap it around the top of my arm. It was very clear with how tight the fabric was that it would be best just taking the damn thing off. Yet I suddenly felt very self-conscious, I didn't want him to think I was removing my shirt because I was coming onto him.

'I'm going to have to take it off,' I muttered after a moment of struggling with the sleeve,' he didn't really acknowledge me at all as he continued to glance back over his notes. He'd popped his glasses back on for it. I slowly started to unbutton the shirt and found myself actually clenching my muscles to make them look more impressive as I peeled the shirt off. Dr Hitsugaya turned around and seemed a bit surprised by my upper nudity.

'I-I just need your left arm,' he pointed to the one closest to his desk and I was sure a fine dusting of pink was now dancing across his cheeks. I felt a bit stupid at removing the full thing but it was off now, so there I sat as the machine did what it needed to do in order to take my blood pressure.

'"98 over 65",' Dr Hitsugaya said eventually, 'that's really good, very healthy.' He sat back on his seat, 'alright, so if it's alright with you I'd like to conduct a physical examination.'

'A… physical examination?'

And my face was turning red.

Not even like a cute little bit of pink. Like you know the colour of beetroot? That red that's so dark it's almost purple? That's exactly what my face was doing right now.

'If that's alright?' he had moved away and had collected his tiny step ladder to bring it over to his cupboards. He wasn't paying attention to my face at all as he climbed up on the step ladder to reach the cupboard directly above the sink. Why was he so fucking adorable? He pulled out a box of extra small latex gloves and put them on the counter, coming back down to open the drawer to the left of the sink. He pulled something out that I couldn't see and made his way over to the desk.

'I-' I gulped, 'O-okay.'

He was putting the extra small glove on his hand and they still looked too big for him as I stood up awkwardly. He used his right hand to close over a curtain around the bed.

'You can get changed behind there and when you're ready just sit on the clean towel on the bed.'

I did as I was told. I'd only just put my shirt back on and now I was expected to drop my pants. This sucked.

I took pretty much everything in my lower half off and sat on the paper towel. The shame was washing over me and I didn't want to call out to him that I was ready yet because I was just so mortified. There I sat with my ass pressed against the crinkly paper waiting.

'Are you ready?' he called after another minute and I shamefully bowed my head.

'Yes,' I muttered and he came inside the curtain. He didn't look at my nakedness right away and I assumed the curtain was being kept up in case anyone walked into his office. He came in closer now with gloves on both his hands and then looked at me. I felt shameful, such an overwhelming amount of shame.

Then his fingers were lightly taking me into his hands. Even through the thin latex gloves his hands were cold and his fingers were oh so gentle. That wasn't what I noticed though as he gently asked me to part my legs. He leaned in close feeling at the very base with his fingers pressing lightly and prodding. His face was close to me. Too close.

And all I could think about was him taking me into his mouth. That cute little innocent face, how it would look if his eyes were half lidded and his mouth open obediently waiting for me to explode all over his face.

Where the hell were these thoughts coming from? And yet… they were so arousing, so much so I…

'Well,' Dr Hitsugaya said after a second once the shame intensified. 'It seems we don't have an issue at the moment.'

'I'm so sorry,' I mumbled, the shame was clear in my voice as I literally started to go hard right in front of him.

'Nothing to be sorry for,' he stood up and looked almost relived. 'This is good news, it means there isn't a problem with the blood vessels. I was about to try an intracavernous injection which is meant to induce an erection to make sure you didn't need surgery.' He stepped back and I tried to cover myself as he glanced up at my eyes. At least he was going to force an erection on me one way or another so it was good news and at least I knew I could get hard. That had to be worth something right? So why was the feeling of shame still hanging over me?

'Alright just one last thing I want to check for,' he muttered, 'sometimes an enlarged prostate can cause issues.'

He wasn't being serious.

'How often do you urinate and is it a lot?'

'Yes, I drink a lot of water I have no issues with urination.'

Please don't stick your fingers up my ass.

'It's the right colour too I check all that stuff,' I continued.

Your delicate, beautiful and skilled little fingers don't belong up there.

'Alright, well while we're here I'd be as well double checking if you're okay with it? Just turn around and place your hands on the bed.'

Oh god.

This.  
Wasn't.

Happening.

I groaned but I slipped off the bed, my erection still partly there just to embarrass me further. I turned and took up the position he asked for and heard the pop of a tube. It better be lube.

It was, and it was cold as fuck. I clenched my ass the moment I felt his fingers press against my entrance.

'Ichigo I need you to relax.'

It was the first time he'd used my first name and I loved how it sounded on his lips, so delicate and commanding and sexy. I took a deep breath and willed my muscles to relax enough for him to slide his fingers deeper inside me. He took but a second and it was all I could do to not gasp out loud. The pleasure rippled up my entire spine and right back down to my balls.

'It feels fine,' he stated as he withdrew his fingers and I heard him removing the gloves. 'Alright then, you can get dressed and just come back out and take a seat when you're ready.'

He was gone behind the curtain again and I quickly got dressed. My erection was dying on me and it was a feeling I was familiar with. I moved and opened the curtain as I came out and took my seat once again not looking at him.

'Just one final test,' he punched some keys on his computer. The glasses were back on his face, 'I promise it isn't invasive like the others,' he said as he spotted the look of horror that must have made its way onto my face. 'Just a little blood sample that I need to send to a lab just to double check everything though I'm sure it will be fine.'

I felt the blood drain instantly from my face.

'If you assume it will be fine why do you need it?'

'It's a common test for this kind of issue,' he smiled and then his smile faltered and fell from his face. 'Ichigo?' The room was hot and I had to unbutton the top button of my shirt in order to breathe. He was by my side in an instant pressing a plastic cup of cold water into my hand. 'Ichigo are you feeling nauseas? Is there any dizziness?'

'Yes,' I mumbled. My entire head was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out.

'Okay, do you feel sick?' he asked, as I took a sip of the water. The cool liquid could be felt all the way down my throat as I swallowed in contrast to how hot my body was. I shook my head.

'Do you think you can make it to the bed to lie down for a moment?' he asked gently and I nodded. He helped me to my feet and we made our way over to the bed where he took the cup of water off me and I lay down. My heart beat was in my ears and I could hear the rush of my own blood pounding against my eardrums.

'Are you scared of needles?' he guessed, 'or the sight of blood?'

'Needles,' I muttered, even just saying the word caused a fresh wave of cold sweat to break out over my body.

'Alright then see the picture above you?' he was referring to lovely picture of the Caribbean on the ceiling. 'I want you to picture yourself as if you were there just now,' as he said it I could feel him pulling my arm out. Oh god oh god oh god. 'And I want you to think about how the waves would sound gently lapping against the shore.' A wet wipe was pressed against the sensitive skin in the bend of my elbow. 'I want you to think about how the wind would sound in the trees.' I felt it… the needle piercing my skin.

And the world went black.

xXx

I found myself being gently woken. Dr Hitsugaya was standing over me and shining a light into my eyes. I felt a cold cloth being pressed against my head and he sighed with relief when I came too.

'Ichigo are you okay?'

What a pathetic excuse of a man I was.

'Yes,' I lied, as the black spots faded away out of sight.

'Alright, can you sit up?' he helped me into a sitting position where I reached out for my cup of water and slowly began to sip it again.

'Sorry,' I mumbled.

'Nothing to be sorry for,' he said for the second time that day. 'It's a common fear and it's over now. Are you still feeling dizzy?' he asked and I shook my head. It was all ebbing away now I knew it was all over. 'That's good.' I heard the relief in his voice and turned to watch him walking back over to his desk. He pulled open his rucksack that he'd obviously brought with him and I saw him pull out a bottle of juice. He walked back over and handed it to me.

'What's this?'

'It's called Lucozade, it's a glucose drink that is sold in pharmacies in the UK. It's got the perfect concentration of sugar to water to glucose and salt content that makes it perfect for an unsettled stomach. A few sips and you'll be feeling much better.'

'But…' I looked down at him because even though I was sitting up on the bed I was still taller than him. 'It's yours?'

'It's okay,' he smiled, 'I get them ported over, your father is thinking of stocking it in the clinic here soon anyway. I've got loads I won't notice one going missing.'

I opened the red bottle and took a sip. It tasted similar to other energy drinks but less sugary and he was right, it instantly made me feel better. My stomach settled within a few seconds of the first sip and so I took another of this amazing magical elixir. He smiled to me and I felt a cold fingertip brush my cheek.

'Your colours returning, good,' he nodded to himself, 'stand up when you're ready.' He walked back to the desk and I glanced around looking for my blood sample. He'd clearly put it out of sight along with the needles before I came too which I was thankful for. He sat back down at his desk, putting his glasses back on and started writing on a piece of paper.

I left him to it as I sat alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe what had happened during my visit, other than the embarrassing climax. This attractive doctor had just got me harder than I'd been in nearly a year. With such little effort as well, all he had to do was sit there and look so fucking good. The visions I had of him down on his knees with his mouth open, panting and salivating as I pulled my dick his mouth was causing my member to twitch in my pants again. I had to stop. I had to stop those mental images right now.

But why? Part of me was asking myself. I'd not managed to enjoy anything sexual in so long. Was it wrong for me to want to continue with the fantasy that had brought back more of my libido than I'd had since my mid twenties? Back when I used to masturbate and wasn't expected to perform in my relationship.

'Alright, I've wrote you a referral,' Dr Hitsugaya said as he sat back on his chair and turned to me with a slip of paper. 'It's a referral to Dr Urahara, he's a therapist. From what I've seen today Ichigo you have no bodily issues at all that could be causing your problems. You're completely healthy so I am putting it down to something psychological. It's one of the most common causes of erectile dysfunction so don't feel bad. Dr Urahara is an expert and he's cured well over 90% of all patients I've referred to him for the same issue. If anyone can help you, he can.'

I took my time standing up to make sure my legs wouldn't give out from under me. They held steady though and I walked over to the desk and took the slip from his hand ad he gave me another one of those charming but fake smiles of his.

'Alright thank you,' I said as I turned to leave the office. It struck me that I actually might never see the incredibly attractive young doctor ever again after this. I noted to myself as I paused at the door to turn and sneak a final glance at him. His lab coat must have been custom made because it fit him perfect and yet everything else suggested to me that he four sizes too small to be an actual adult size of anything. I could feel the shame washing back over me as I actually stopped to consider how small his dick might be and I was curious to know if it was as small as the rest of him. He paused in his writing to push those cute little glasses back up his nose and that's when he realised I was still in the room.

'Is everything okay?' he asked and I started and gave a sharp nod before opening the door and disappearing through it.

 **XxXxX**

'How did you get on sweetie?'

I hated when she called me nick names.

'Fine,' I said as I walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. She was a good person, an amazing person actually and she deserved to be happy. I wished I could make her happy like she wanted me too but I couldn't.

'Ichigo I was doing some research and some of the guys on this website have said that they can reach orgasm with a blowjob…'

'You hate giving blowjobs…'

'Only because I don't think I'm very good at it.'

Somehow she always managed to find a way to bring it back to her, looking and seeking for reassurance. No matter what the issue was it was always her fault. Even if my best friends' grandfather died she'd somehow manage to twist the sympathy so that it was on her.

'Your blowjobs are fine. The issue isn't with you it's with me.' I sighed rubbing my temples. We were each others firsts and Orihime wasn't exactly the kind of girl to google porn or ask for advice so she never really got particularly skilled at giving head. Though at the time of being my first sexual experience I thought it was the best feeling in the world. We'd done a bunch of them on the lead up to our wedding since she wouldn't have sex before marriage we'd do other things. Though she stopped giving me them when we got married.

'I'd like to try again Ichigo. You used to come all the time when we did them.'

'I don't think it would be a good idea Orihime.' I sighed exasperated. The fact she was drawing more attention to this was making it worse. Besides her blow jobs would probably never be as good as…

I gulped. That image had been burned into my eyes since that morning. Dr Hitsugaya on his knees gazing up at me with half lidded eyes as I fucked his mouth. As a doctor he'd know exactly how to work a dick and he'd be really good at it too. I felt my dick stirring in my pants again and I frowned at myself.

'I have a referral to see a therapist they think it's psychological.' I stated and Orihime glanced at me.

'Has it something to do with anything I've done?'

There she goes again.

'No, they think it stems from childhood or something,' I lied smoothly standing up. 'I'm going to go for a quick shower and then go to bed early. I'll be seeing him tomorrow so hopefully we can get it sorted then we can explore options alright?' I walked over to her robotically and gave her a kiss as I turned to go up stairs. The quicker I went to bed the quicker I could trust the images of that day out of my head. I sure did hope that this Dr Urahara guy was as good as Dr Hitsugaya had said he was. The sooner that I got my libido and my erection back the sooner my life would become a shit tone easier.

 **XxXxX**

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	2. It wont be a date

**I am so humbled by the response from everyone who read the last chapter! Seriously a massive thank you to ShiroShipShipShipShip, Sherryfanfic1999, Sirius1696, Dsephna and Nico Zi for all your amazing reviews!**

 **I adore reading all your reviews and hope you continue to review and appreciate my work! Your reviews are what keep me writing~**

 **XxXxX**

Dr Urahara was completely different to what I'd expected. I don't really know what I was expecting? A professional middle aged man with a long sweeping lab coat on and a tidy office. That wasn't what I got though. Dr Urahara didn't wear a lab coat he wore loose fitting three quarter lengths and a long sweeping black coat that reminded me of some kind of cape. Then there was the green and white stripped hat that basically hid his eyes from view. His office was disorganised chaos and when I arrived I had to walk through a narrowly carved path in the middle of piles of paperwork and stuff just to get to the couch.

How anyone could work in this kind of mess I'd never know. He was tugging at a file at the bottom of a massive stack and the stack gave a tremble before he steadied it with a hand. I held my breath, expecting it all to come tumbling down but it didn't.

'So Ichigo,' he chuckled bringing my file up and glancing through the report. 'Dr Hitsugaya has referred you to me for my expertise in helping with your particular challenge.' He closed the file over and tossed it behind him somewhere into the background. I blinked at him, he was so fucking strange.

'I-yes he said you were one of the best-'

'Oh I am,' he grinned and walked around the messy desk to perch on top of it, his feet dangling down over the side. 'I already have a pretty good idea of what's going on. Though I want to ask you some questions if that's okay?'

'Yeah sure,' it was easier to talk to this man than it was to talk to the incredibly sexy Dr Hitsugaya.

'Alright Ichigo tell me about your wife.'

'Orihime is a good person,' I said, 'she's kind and would help anyone out.'

'Does she work?' he asked.

'No, she has always wanted to be a stay at home wife,' I rested my chin on the palm of my hand.

'And that bothers you?'

'No, why would you say that?' I asked fixing him with a stare.

'Your entire body language just slumped in the couch as you said it,' he pointed out and I blinked, realising he was right. 'So there's something about it that you resent, what is it?'

I had to think. Did I resent her for wanting to stay at home? I felt a bit of guilt bubbling in the back of my throat and realised that yes I did.

'I've always been brought up in a family of hard workers,' I sighed eventually, 'my dad works so hard every day. He even makes house calls after office times. So I've always had a very strong work ethic.' I rubbed my arms as I continued. 'I don't resent her for wanting to stay at home, I resent the fact that I'm still expected to do home chores despite the fact that I work too.' I hadn't ever voiced any of this before and I felt like a weight was slowly lifting as I spoke about them.

'That's only natural Ichigo, so what do you do?'

'Well,' I sat up a little straighter on the couch. 'When I was working I'd come home and have to make the dinner too because she never learned to cook. It bothers me that she won't try. She says she does but instead of following a recipe or a television programme to make something she just throws her own stuff together and cooks things how she thinks they should be cooked. Most of the time it's inedible and when it is she gets upset and I'm left hungry but somehow comforting her. When I'm made to cook which is all the time now, it would eat into the time I'd normally spend going to the gym and I pride myself on physical health.' Why was this so easy to talk about? Why was saying all this making me feel so much better? 'She does her fair share of other things like the laundry but again she does it her own way. I was the one who had to teach her to separate colours and even when she cleans I still find myself going by behind her because she's not done it right.'

'I see, that must be really stressful for you,' he said it and it sounded sincere like he really was feeling for me and my situation. 'Do you think this stress might have something to do with why you've been feeling so low?'

'Yeah I suppose it might,' I sighed as I thought about it.

'It sounds to me like the fact you're keeping it all bottled up isn't helping you Ichigo.' He reached around for a mug and took a sip of its contents. 'Even as you've been sitting here talking to me about it all I can see a physical weight being lifted from your shoulders. When was the last time you spoke to anyone about all this?'

'I've never,' I sighed.

'Is there anyone you can speak too?' he asked and I was thoughtful.

'Well yes, I have my father and I have Renji.'

'Who's Renji?' he asked.

'An old friend of mine from University, I dropped out to support Orihime when we started to get serious in our relationship.

'What were you and Renji studying?'

'We were studying Sports Science together, we both dropped out around the same time. He got his girlfriend pregnant at the time and needed to get a job to support her through the pregnancy. She works though so he'd planned to go back and complete his studying after she went back to work but he never did. We work in the same office space now but we still try to work out together when we can.'

'When was the last time you saw him?'

'Just before I got signed off work a few weeks ago.'

'I see and has he not contacted you?'

'No he has, I've just not had the muse to… see anyone really.' I shrugged my shoulders and he nodded his head.

'That's a side effect of your depression Ichigo, it's completely normal. We'll come back to that in a while but right now tell me about this job of yours.'

'It's just an office job. I look at reports and crunch numbers. It's boring as fuck.'

'I see,' he sat back thoughtfully for a few moments. 'Now I'm going to ask a couple of personal questions. Why did you choose to marry Orihime?'

'I-' don't know? It's what I wanted to say, because I honestly didn't. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, the spark was short lived and it seemed to have fizzled out.

'Ichigo you know I am not here to judge you, I am here to help you try and get to the bottom of the issues you've been having.' He was calm and there was something soothing in his voice as he spoke.

'I married her because she wanted me too,' I sighed eventually and watched as he nodded grimly at me.

'Do you still have any feelings for her?'

'No,' I sighed as I finally admitted it. 'No I don't.'

'I see,' we sat in silence for a little while as I digested all this. It was the first time I'd admitted out loud how unhappy I actually was in my relationship. Perhaps I'd been living under the delusion that if I got some sex drive back that our entire relationship would get better. But that was a hell of a lot of pressure to put onto my sexuality and maybe the fact I didn't want the relationship to improve was the issue why my sex drive wasn't improving either? On some subconscious level it was trying to tell me how I really felt.

'Ichigo,' Dr Urahara said after a while, 'I saw in your report that you were able to get an erection during the examination, was it during the intracavernous injection or…?'

'No,' I felt an embarrassed blush form on my face and I actually brought a hand up to hide it from view.

'There's nothing to be ashamed of Ichigo, I just want to know was that the first time someone else has been near you other than your wife?'

'Yes, it's not like I'm unfaithful.'

'I know you're not, I just wanted to be sure.' I glanced up at him and he seemed to be waving a delicate fan at his face as he contemplated. 'Perhaps it's because you're putting so much stress on the impact of your sex life improving your relationship that's why you're struggling so much? Perhaps it's another reason…'

'What do you mean?' I asked curiously.

'I want to conduct an experiment,' he closed over his fan and slipped back off his desk making his way around the other side. 'I make these little "care" packages for this kind of scenario. I want you to take one away and see if you're able to reach orgasm at all. Best not to do it at home when your wife is around. Is there anywhere else you can go to get privacy?'

'She goes to visit her friend Tatsuki every other evening so I'll wait until she does that why?'

He walked around and handed me one of the packages, it was in a large envelope and I took a peak inside, feeling my face heat up. There was lube, several packets of tissues and a magazine. There also seemed to be a couple of condoms thrown in there just for the hell of it.

'I want you to see if you can reach orgasm yourself, the magazine is particular I chose it for that reason. Sometimes people have particular kinks and fetishes, the magazine is diverse and unique so whatever helps you reach orgasm might give us a little more insight into what's going on.' He said it all with such a doctor like tone that it was easier to not feel embarrassed by the entire situation. I quickly stuffed the envelope down into the back of my rucksack. There was a little section at the back that separated it from the rest of my bag anyway that Orihime didn't know about and she wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed to figure it out bless her. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it because I felt like I was cheating. This was an experiment for my own personal health after all. I just didn't think it was something she needed to know about.

'Alright,' I said once I was satisfied it was hidden away.

'Let me know on Friday how you got on.' He smiled and I stood up and nodded my head.

'Thank you Dr Urahara,' I smiled at him and he waved me with a hand.

'God that makes me sound old just call me Kisuke.'

'Alright,' I grinned at him despite myself, 'thanks Kisuke.' With that I opened the door to his office and disappeared through it.

 **XxXxX**

I didn't dare remove the magazine or the contents of the care package until Orihime was gone from the house. She'd asked me how the session had gone. I told her that it went well and I was seeing him again on Friday. She didn't press the matter but I knew she wanted too. I was a little thankful she was letting me be.

'I'm going to visit Tatsuki tonight will you be okay by yourself?' she asked and I nodded, perfect opportunity.

'I'll maybe go for a run,' I said.

Once she left the house I waited a good fifteen minutes or so before going up to the bathroom and locking the door behind me. She had a nasty habit of forgetting something and doubling back for it but usually after fifteen minutes meant I was in the safe and she wasn't coming back. That's normally the time I would leave to go on my run but not tonight. I dropped my pants around my ankles and kicked them off. The magazine was a lot thicker than I expected as I pulled it out and I started to flick through it to see if anything caught my fancy. I started at the beginning where it seemed most normal. There were women in different positions, some more modest and others that left nothing to the imagination. They had lots of different body types, some women were small some were big, some had massive breasts like my wife and others had smaller bodies. Some had massive asses, and every kind of coloured hair you could imagine. Some were old… they did nothing for me… some were late teens at best… they did nothing for me either. Some were pregnant, some were tied up, some were gagged and some were blindfolded. Nothing.

I was beginning to lose hope then I skipped a few pages and my heart stopped. Then it began to beat ten times faster. This magazine wasn't just women…

I'd come into a section that was all about men. Naked men, some more muscled than others, some a bit over weight and all with varying sizes of lengths. I found myself eagerly glancing through the pages as if searching for something. Then someone caught my attention. He looked young around the age of 19 or so, he looked tiny but had massive green eyes. His spikes were wild and his hair was almost platinum blond and he looked just like…

I gulped. I was getting hard, I could feel the heat pooling down between my legs and my erection springing to life. The young boy was in three different positions on the page, the first he was propped up by an arm as he lay down, his legs spread wide and his other hand wrapped around his dick as he stroked himself, he was looking suggestively at the camera with half lidded eyes. The second position he was on his front, his tiny tight ass up in the air and exposed for the reader to see. He was glancing back behind him suggestively and it was clear his hand was still on his dick. The final position was simple, he was on his knees and stroking himself but his face in this image reminded me of the fantasy I'd had of Dr Hitsugaya. The way his mouth was parted a little and he was gazing through half lidded eyes. That was the image I focused on, that one and the second one as I poured lube onto my hand and slowly began to stroke myself.

The pleasure coursed up and down my body and I bit back every shameful thought that entered my mind about how wrong this was. I needed to know, I had to explore this. I continued to pump my member imagining what it would feel like if it was being engulfed into Dr Hitsugayas mouth. What it would feel like if his tongue was lapping at it and he was moaning around it, sending vibrations straight down and up my spine. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time before I was blowing my load all over myself as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my body. I allowed myself to enjoy it and enjoy the gentle come down after it without thinking too heavily. But it didn't take long before that overwhelming shame was coursing back down through my body. I shouldn't have had an orgasm over that. It was sick and wrong. Dr Hitsugaya was likely straight and it wasn't fair of me to think of another man like that when I was straight too.

Then the tears were coming before I could stop them and I sat there on the floor of my bathroom crying into my hand like a pathetic man. I was straight. I wasn't gay. The tears spilled down my cheeks and the familiar feeling of shame settled heavily in my chest. I _couldn't_ be gay.

What would my mother have thought of that? Having a gay son, a stupid pathetic crying fag of a son?

I sniffed loudly and snapped the magazine shut. I decided to think less in a bid to calm myself down and quickly went about tidying and cleaning the mess up. I put all the contents back into the care package and shoved it into the back of my bag again. I didn't want Orihime to know that I'd been crying, but I couldn't stop the tears now that they'd started. My marriage was crumbling around me, I was in a pit of depression, I was off work and I couldn't even give my wife the one thing expected of the male species.

What was worse to top it all off. The thing that made me sadder than any of it was the thought that I could absolutely not be with Dr Hitsugaya. That more the most devastating part of it all.

 **XxXxX**

I took every opportunity when Orihime left the house at any point to pull out the magazine and try and stir awake my erection at any of the female pictures. The only ones that elected any response from me were the ones with short hair and tiny breasts and I had to wonder if it was because they looked like men.

After the initial shock had worn off I realised I was slowly coming to terms with it. So that Friday when I walked back into Kisuke's office I was fully intent on speaking it through.

'So Ichigo, how did you get on?' he asked and I folded my arms across my chest with a soft sigh.

'I learned a bit about myself,' I stated simply as I glanced around his office.

'Anything you want to share?' he asked, 'remember no judgement here.'

'I think I might be gay,' I said it and as I said it I realised it was true. My initial denial and breakdown towards the beginning of the week ebbed away in the back of my mind. I actually felt a little bit lighter as I sat there, so much so that I smiled. I smiled for the first time in months.

'What a discovery,' he chuckled, 'well done, so you were able to complete okay? No complications?'

'No, I was fine,' I sighed as I rubbed my temple.

'Alright then and how do you feel with this discovery?'

'At first I was shocked, I got really upset but I think it was a bit of the depression speaking. The rest of this week though I've been feeling so much better about it all.'

'That's a normal first reaction, it must have been a bit of a shock to you of course,' he was nodding his head encouragingly, 'very brave to open yourself up to the idea though and embrace it.'

'Thank you Kisuke,' I smiled up at him and he grinned.

'Hey no problem, now what are you going to do about Orihime?'

'I-' I rubbed the back of my head, 'I need to think about all that. I don't want to do anything too hasty just now. I've only seen a naked man in a magazine right now so I don't know how I'd feel about actually being in close proximity to one.' I shrugged my shoulders, 'I'm going to wait before I make any hasty decisions.'

'I think that's a smart idea, you don't want to hurt her right now until you're fully committed to this new side of you. So what are you going to do next?'

'Well, I wanted to take Dr Hitsugaya out for dinner to thank him for his help,' I said first, pulling a bottle of expensive wine from my bag. 'I got this for you.'

'For me?' he reached out and took the bottle as I handed it to him. He seemed to look a little amused and there was a flash of mischief in his eyes. 'You knew I loved this wine?'

'I saw an empty bottle of it the last time I was here,' I smiled and shrugged, 'you don't strike me as the kind of person to get dressed up and go out for dinner.'

'Very observant of you, you're right of course. I prefer to stay home alone with my cat.' He chuckled and tilted his head curiously. 'So you're going to get to know our little doctor better?'

'Not like that,' I said far too quickly it caused him to smirk at me and I could feel colour flourishing into my cheeks. That was actually a little bit of my plan. But I wanted to build a friendship with him. There was no reason why I couldn't get to know the man who would soon be taking over my fathers' clinic after all right? 'I just wanted to thank him.'

'He'd probably appreciate it a lot, he transferred here from Junrinan which is about three hours away by plane, from what I've heard he's not managed to make many friends in that time except your father and your sisters.' He was thoughtful for a moment, 'so it would maybe be nice for you two to get to know each other. Maybe you could help introduce him to more people.'

'Yeah,' I nodded my head, that was a great excuse and Kisuke had just placed it into my lap. Looking at him and that mischievous smirk I had to wonder if he had done it on purpose. Now I needed an excuse to tell Orihime.

'Another thing Ichigo, I'd like to see you get back in touch with Renji from your work. Drawing yourself away from your friends is not a good route to helping you get over your depression. I think you should speak to him, if you're not ready for anyone else to know then that's fine. But you still need friends to talk too so please get in touch with him for me?' he asked and I nodded my head.

If my doctor was telling me to go and make friends that was the perfect excuse to tell my wife until I could work out exactly where I wanted all of this to go. I didn't quite have the heart to just dump her and get a divorce right on the spot. I needed to know she'd be okay too. Despite the fact I didn't love her romantically it didn't mean I didn't love her at all.

'I will thank you,' I nodded at him and he waved to me as I left his office. I knew exactly where I was heading.

'Ichigo my boy what brings you here?' my father asked grinning broadly when he saw me. He was standing at the reception desk where Karin was shuffling through some papers.

'Hey dad,' I said as I walked over to them. The reception area was just beside the waiting room and I turned to see that there were only two patients left sitting. One of them was a middle aged woman and the other was a younger looking boy, he looked about fifteen and I had to wonder what he was doing here alone. 'I just came by for a visit.'

'Excellent,' Isshin turned towards Karin and asked her to go and file some of the paperwork away in the office behind the reception desk. She left obediently and Isshin glanced around before leaning in to lower his voice.

'How are things going, are you healthy and okay? I asked Dr Hitsugaya but he wouldn't tell me anything and scolded me when I tried to access your personal files.'

'Dad,' I sighed, 'you can't do stuff like that it's private.' I groaned, 'I'm fine don't worry. Dr Hitsugaya referred me to a specialist and things are going well.'

'A specialist?' he sounded worried now, 'what for?'

'Therapy, it's to help with my depression,' he knew about my depression at least and I saw him visibly relax and he nodded his head.

'Alright then great, I'm really glad.'

'I actually came by to invite him out to dinner to thank him properly.'

'Oh?' he grinned and clapped my shoulder, 'that sounds awesome Ichigo, he's a good kid you two would make great friends.' A door to the far side opened and Dr Hitsugaya came out. He didn't notice me as he walked around the corner and called the young boys name. The boy looked like he was on the verge of tears as he stood up and walked with him into the room. The door closed and I could hear my father gibbering some nonsense in the background as I wondered what was going on.

'It's like my two sons are spending some quality bonding time-' he was saying and I watched as the door to Dr Hitsugayas office opened again and he walked out. His face looked sombre as he walked over.

'Dr Kurosaki may I have a consult please?' he asked and my father started and turned to look behind him. They shared a look with each other and then he moved away from the desk and followed him. They walked away from everyone and stood speaking. I was curiously watching the exchange as Dr Matsumoto who was tall woman with long strawberry blond hair walked out. She put some files down at the reception desk and smiled at me.

'Hello Ichigo what a surprise,' she grinned and I tore my eyes away from the two doctors at the end of the hall to look at her.

'Hello Rangiku,' I said, she'd already met me. She was the first doctor my father employed but she refused to take over the running of the clinic because she preferred to finish at her exact finishing time. She couldn't do what my father did so she let Dr Hitsugaya come forward to take up the offer. She refused to let me call her Dr Matsumoto, very much like Kisuke. She followed where my gaze had drifted back to the two doctors and I watched as my father walked into the room at the end of the corridor.

'What's going on?' she asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

'Honestly I have no idea,' I said truthfully and we shared a worried glance before she glanced down at the clipboard in her hand.

'Mrs Unagiya?' she asked stepping forward as the woman stood up to follow her back into her office.

The clinic was small, there were only the three doctors, my father was the main doctor and had two offices, one was an actual administrative office and the other was his office where he saw patients. The other two offices belonged to Rangiku and Dr Hitsugaya. Karin was studying to become a doctor and she would be joining to help in the clinic after she finished studying. That's the date my father was waiting for before he retired fully. Until that date she was working here part time as a receptionist. Yuzu would help out from time to time too but she was studying to become a Chef. She'd always loved to cook. She was good at it too; after all she'd been the one who had educated me in the kitchen. It was part of our bonding time together. We'd bake something or cook together.

The office door opened again and Isshin came out, walking down the hall towards me he reached around the desk and lifted the phone up. I glanced at the number he dialled and it was the number for the local police station.

'Yeah hello is that Mary? Yes, it's Dr Kurosaki. I've got another one for you,' he sighed, 'yes… yes… yes please. No I'll be here with him. Likely Dr Hitsugaya will still be here too. Please… if you can… yes… thank you.'

He hung up the phone and I glanced at him curiously.

'Is everything okay?'

'Poor kid, he was raped by his uncle. He's run away from home just now and he doesn't want to go back. We need the permission of a social worker or guardian before we can conduct a physical examination but Toshiro is in there just now with him.' I felt my heart sink through the floor and gazed at the door, trying to remember the small boys face.

'Do you get these often?' I asked judging by what I'd heard while he was on the phone.

'We get different cases, sometimes domestic abuse and usually it's Rangiku who sees to the women and either myself or Toshiro who see to the men. Rape is quite common but… this a sensitive case so don't say anything.'

'Of course not!' I said and he nodded grimly to me. I glanced at the clock. It was approaching five thirty when the clinic was due to shut. Karin came back out and Isshin followed her back through with more paperwork as they chatted.

I sat down on the more comfortable seat beside the reception desk and stared off into the distance. All I could think about was that young boy.

Rangiku came out her office and her patient thanked her and left. She walked around the desk and turned in her paperwork stretching out.

'Alright, finished,' she smiled and leaned against the desk. 'Do you know what's going on?' I filled her in and her smile fell into a deep frown.

'It's one of the hardest things about this job,' she glanced over at the door. 'I hope Toshiros okay.'

'What do you mean?' I asked, unable to stop myself.

'He's just a little more sensitive to these things than he'd let anyone believe.' She sighed and slowly shrugged her lab coat off placing it up on a coat hanger behind the desk. She took her personal coat into her arms and walked back over.

'Are you waiting for your dad to finish?' she asked and I rubbed the back of my head.

'Tos- Dr Hitsugaya actually,' I corrected myself, 'I wanted to invite him out tonight to thank him for something.'

'Aww,' she squealed and leaned in _dangerously_ close. 'That will cheer him up, that makes me feel better I have to leave because I have plans with Gin.' She smiled at me, Gin was her husband. They'd been married for a few years longer than Orihime and I. 'At least I know he won't be alone tonight, goodness knows he could do with the company after this.'

She waved me off as she left and I watched as a police car pulled up outside along with another black car. They walked in and I called my father back out. He led them down the hall and spoke to the two officers. They'd brought a male and female officer and a female social worker from the looks of things. They walked down the hall and into the room.

The time ticked by and about half an hour passed. Karin was back out and we started to play a pretend game of soccer with our fingers on the desk using pencils as goal posts and a scrunched up piece of paper as a football. We stood up instantly and watched as the door was propped open.

'Karin could you put the kettle on?' Isshin called and she quickly scampered off. The police offers had grey faces as they made their way out towards the car. I watched them and they stood speaking into the car radio with the doors open. The social worker walked down and into my dads office and I stood up stretching out. I walked down the hall towards the window at the end but didn't go too far. I didn't want them to think I was spying on them.

'Dr Kurosaki?' it was the unmistakable call of Dr Hitsugaya and no one was around.

'Hold on, I'll get him,' I called back.

'Is that you Ichigo?' he asked.

'Yeah,' I said back.

'It's just for some juice in the vending machine, I don't have any lucozade left,' he called.

'I can get that,' I walked down the hall to where the waiting area was and glanced inside the vending machine. Most of it was healthier snacks but there was a bottle of apple juice which I put money into the machine and got. I took it back up to the room and knocked gently on the door.

'Come in,' he was behind the curtain and I went to hand it in making sure I kept my gaze adverted. The boy had been through enough. I could hear him crying and sniffing.

'Could you get young Ino here some tissues?' he asked and I glanced around his desk spotting a box of them. I obediently went and picked them up walking back around to place them down on a table close to the boys head. The young boys' hands were shaking as he took a sip of the drink. I knew that sugar was good for someone who was in shock.

'You're being very brave,' Dr Hitsugaya murmured gently to the boy, 'what do you think of Ichigos hair colour?' I glanced down at the young boys face and cracked a grin. He was on the bed and I was stood up beside his head. Dr Hitsugaya was between his legs, out of sight and covered by a personal covering hiding everything from view. The boy looked up at me with timid and red eyes.

'It reminds me of a sunset,' he spoke wiping his nose on his sleeve as I pulled out a tissue and handed it to him.

'Does it now, maybe he was out in the sun for too long when he got it?' Dr Hitsugaya commented and I grinned. He was clearly trying to take the boys mind off everything.

'Even better than that,' I spoke softly as I bent down a little so he could hear me. 'I was meant to be a replacement traffic cone.' The boy chuckled wetly as he sniffed into the tissue and grimaced a little. His entire body tensed.

'I know this is hard Ino, but I need you to relax for me as much as you can please, big deep breaths.'

He was on the verge of tears again and they poured out his giant eyes. I tried to get his attention back by taking a big massive deep breath and letting it go dramatically, he copied me and I watched him relax.

'You know how Dr Hitsugaya got his hair?' I asked him with a mischievous grin and the young boy shook his head.

'You don't know this story?' I gasped dramatically, 'everyone around here knows it.'

'Watch yourself Kurosaki. I have some sharp pointy things in my drawers over there you don't like very much and I'll stick you with them if I'm forced too.'

I laughed it off but the threat did actually make me break into a cold sweat.

'Well, he was out late one night and was walking home alone which you should never do,' I made a point of stating and the boy nodded in agreement. 'When he thought he heard a cat meowing so he went to investigate. While he was looking for the cat his friend played a joke on him. You see his friend dressed as a ghost, and started to make noises in the trees to scare him.'

'W-what did he do?'

'Well, he called out to them, "oh spirits of the great beyond,"' the boy was chuckling now, '"please do not hurt me!" that's what he said to them but his friend jumped out on him and scared him so badly his whole hair turned white,' I cracked up at the huge grin that spread across the boys face.

'Most amusing Kurosaki,' Dr Hitsugaya chuckled and he sat back bringing a hand up to gently pat the boys covered knee. 'You're all done Ino, thank you for being so brave. Ichigo and I are going to let you get changed now in private okay?' He moved away and I followed suit I spotted the gloves he wore as he took them off. There were traces of blood on them as he took them off and disposed of them in the appropriate bin. He pulled the curtain all the way around to give him even more privacy.

'I'm right out here Ino if you need a hand with anything let me know. Take your time, if there's a bit of pain its normal.' He called and I walked back towards the door. As I got to it my father was coming around the corner.

'Ichigo, everything alright?' he asked glancing into the room.

'Your son was a huge help,' Dr Hitsugaya said as he glanced down at a report in his hands.

'The boys mother is on her way to pick him up, the social worker is going to oversee everything but they want to take him back to the police station first. He'll have to turn in his clothes for forensic investigation so his mother is bringing a change for him.'

'Alright, I have the samples here,' I turned back to see Dr Hitsugaya holding up a clear see through packet with several bottles of individual swaps inside. I grimaced at the thought.

'Alright,' my father stepped into the office and took the bag into his hands. 'I'll give this to them for the forensic unit to investigate.' He lifted the bag up into the air to examine it and sighed as he turned towards the door. 'You and Ichigo should leave soon, it's nearly six, I can stay here and shut down for the night.'

'Are you sure?' Dr Hitsugaya asked glancing over and my father nodded.

'Besides Ichigo has something he wants to ask you.' My father grinned and walked away and I was left feeling stupid and uncomfortable. I never really thought this through. I never realised how uncomfortable it would be knowing that this stunning beautiful Dr had literally seen every part of me that no one should really see. Not even my wife had seen that much of me… or felt that much of me.

'Yes, well, I wanted,' I stuttered and glanced back to make sure my father was gone, 'I wanted to thank you properly. Kisuke is an amazing guy, he helped me a lot. I wondered if I could take you out for dinner tonight to thank you?'

'Oh,' he blinked in surprise at me and I felt stupid for a moment as I seriously thought he was about to decline my offer. 'Sure, that'd be great. I'm just going to make sure Ino here is okay first.' He nodded to the curtain and I bowed.

'That's alright I'll wait outside, take your time.'

'You alright in there Ino?' Dr Hitsugaya asked and I heard the boy burst into a fresh wave of tears.

'Oh dear,' Dr Hitsugaya slipped back behind the curtain in an instant and I quickly left the room. He was the professional, I had no real reason to be there except to try and lighten the mood.

It was another fifteen minutes before the boys mother came by. She was more hysterical than he was and in the end he was left comforting her. She stood chatting to Dr Hitsugaya and my dad as the social worker took him away for a quick chat.

'He'll need to come back in a couple of days, preferably on Monday and Tuesday. There was extensive tearing and I've patched him as best as I can but we'll need to keep an eye on it because it's an area prone to infection. I've spoken to him about hygiene and how to care and keep it clean.' Dr Hitsugaya commented, and I did my best to make it look like I wasn't trying to over hear what was going on. 'If he's struggling at all here is my personal number, you can call me and home and I can make a home visit. Free of charge, I just want to make sure he's okay.' The mother hugged him and then they all left. I glanced up and I could see what Rangiku had meant. There was a deep set frown on his face and his brows were furrowed in a creased line. He looked a lot older despite his previous youthful appearance and I could see it on his face, how badly this had impacted him.

I vowed to do my best to try and take his mind off it tonight.

 **XxXxX**

 **Okay so it's going to be slightly longer than three chapters since this one and the next one turned out to be a lot longer than I expected.**

 **Please review! Your reviews keep me writing! =D**


	3. Is it a date?

**Huge thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter =D Nico Zi, ShiroShipShipShipShip, Dsephna, Sirius1696, Geishaaa, Sherryfanfic1999. I loved reading your long reviews of this chapter! You guys are what inspire me to keep writing!**

 **XxXxX**

The restaurant was nice an empty by the time we got there. It was well after half seven because Dr Hitsugaya had asked to go home and get changed first. He stayed local so he promised to meet me and I didn't mind leaving my car in town. I could leave it at my work where we had a private car park with cameras operating 24/7. He met me around the corner from my work and we walked to the restaurant together.

He looked totally different without his lab coat on, he looked even younger and I realised that I actually didn't even know what age he was. He wore a pair of light blue jeans with the belt sticking out and hanging down his side because it was too long for him. His top was just a regular black polo shirt with a white collar, it hung loose around his body and it was easy to see how thin he was now he wasn't wearing his lab coat.

And he had the audacity to say to me that I was underweight for my age? I smiled a little to myself as I thought about it. The bar and restaurant I'd chosen had nice low lighting, a beautiful relief on the eyes after a shift spent under harsh office lighting. He seemed pleased with the choice as he glanced around. It was one of my favourite places to eat, they had an extensive menu and hearty portion sizes of home cooked meals. The bar itself was made of aged wood of an old ship and the air was graced with a salty tang. They ran with the theme and there were barrels out on display as well as fishing hooks and most of the staffs' uniform had a bit of a pirate like feel to them.

'I've never eaten here before,' he commented his wide teal eyes drinking in the sight of everyone. I hadn't really thought of this place as romantic before given the theme but now that I sat across from him in the low lighting with a candle on the table between us I realised it was a little. The candle light reflected off his skin beautifully, tossing parts of his face into soft shadows and drawing out the harsh point to his chin and cheekbones that I'd not noticed before. It made him look older.

'I love this place,' I said as a waitress walked by and gave us each a menu to look at. There weren't many other people about just now, most had made their way to actual clubs and proper bars for the night but there were a couple of couples that I could see. 'I figured it would be good to get you a decent home cooked meal since you said you don't cook much.'

'Oh,' he smiled a little and I couldn't tell by the candlelight if the smile was another of those little fake ones he gave me in his office. 'Well I appreciate this thank you so much.'

'It is me that should be thanking you,' I smiled and he glanced up at me. 'Kisuke was a huge help to me.'

'Good,' he hesitated and then frowned, 'if I ask any personal questions tonight I'm sorry. It's just habit because of my job.'

'That's alright, ask away. If there's something I don't want to talk about I'll let you know, but expect some personal questions in return since I know almost nothing about you and you know a _lot_ about me.'

'Of course,' he chuckled and it didn't seem forced or faked at all. I smiled and relaxed a little. 'Is the issue better now?' he asked.

'Yes,' I said, 'though it's not something that… well Orihime can really help me with.' I tried not to let a sadistic smile grace my lips. Sometimes my own sense of humour could be cruel and sick, especially when I was aiming it at myself. It was one of my many coping mechanisms.

'Oh?' he pursed his adorable little plump lips as if he was stopping himself asking more questions. I shouldn't be staring at his lips this long and welcomed the distraction when the waitress returned with our beers. I started to drink mine eagerly and then decided to ask him a question instead.

'So I know almost nothing about you, besides that you're amazing at your job and great with kids,' I offered him a kind smile and he ruefully returned it. It wasn't the ideal scenario to realise that someone was good with kids.

'Well what do you want to know?' he asked and I sat back on my chair.

'Why you moved here, what age you are and what you do in your spare time?' I started and his eyes flashed with amusement.

'So not much then?' he asked and we both chuckled, 'lets see I'm 25 years old,' I was a little shocked at this comment but I tried not to show it as he continued. He looked a lot younger than this. I'd expected him to be around 22… 'I moved here because I wanted to find work, your fathers clinic seemed exactly what I wanted. I prefer to work in small family run clinics they care more about the people they treat rather than making money,' he seemed very political about this topic I noticed. 'In my spare time,' he was thoughtful, 'not much. I go swimming to try and keep healthy, sometimes I go running. Mostly I read books. I've not had much to do since me and my ex broke up.'

'How long were you two together?' I asked him.

'About three years,' he shrugged his tiny shoulders and traced a finger around the tip of his beer bottle. His body language made me assume he maybe wasn't particularly happy about the break up. 'He broke it off because I wouldn't be a stay at home partner,' he shrugged. I couldn't believe it. So he _was_ gay. He was gay and single. Be still my beating heart.

'That seems like a shit reason to dump someone,' I frowned at him and he shrugged his little shoulders again.

'I wanted to try and work things out, I really loved him but I refused to quit my job. It was the perfect job too but after we broke up I couldn't be around the people anymore because everyone had ties to him. It made it really difficult to get over him.' He glanced up at me and a look of shock crossed his face. 'Sorry, this got really deep.'

'It's okay,' I smiled and before I realised what I was doing I'd reacted on instinct and I reached across the table to gently squeeze his hand. He smiled kindly at the gesture and returned it. I let go immediately after, not wanting to be in that awkward position wondering when I do or don't let go. But the feeling of his flesh was burned into the palm of my hand, just as cold as I remembered and his hands were easily about half the size of my own. 'So why did he want you to be a stay at home partner anyway?'

'He always wanted kids,' he said, 'I'm not maternal like that though.'

'Dr Hitsugaya,' I started but he cut across me.

'Please call me Toshiro,' he laughed, 'that makes me sound like an old man when I'm outside work.'

'Alright Toshiro,' I grinned back at him, 'surely if he was the one who wanted kids he should have been the one to stay at home and look after them?'

'You'd have thought right?' he shook his head.

'When did you two break up?'

'Just before I moved here so a couple of years ago,' he waved it off but I could see the sadness in his eyes. Suddenly the little fake smiles made sense to me. He was lonely and he maybe resented his job a little for chasing off the love of his life.

'Do you ever regret it?' I asked, 'not staying at home to be with him?'

'Sometimes yes,' he shrugged again and took another large drink of his beer. We were interrupted by the waitress when she returned to take our orders and we'd both gone for the stake but he wanted his cooked medium rare and I asked for mine medium to well done. Steak and beer seemed an appropriate meal for Friday night.

'Anyway you were saying?' I prompted and he took another drink of his beer.

'Well, I mean, it's hard to resent a job where you get to help people and make a difference. But yes it can be difficult. I loved him very much, so it's hard when I see couples come in talking about wanting to start a family.' He sighed, 'anyway let's change the topic. Why did you never join your fathers' clinic?' he asked.

I explained about my wish to become a personal trainer or fitness instructor and why I dropped out of University. It seemed our stories had some things in common. What I found out in return was that his exes name was Kusaka and he'd been a lawyer who earned a bit more money than Toshiro and that was one of the reasons why he felt like Toshiro should be the stay at home father.

'Sometimes I felt a bit used,' he sighed. The waitress picked our empty plates up and we denied ourselves desert because of the high sugar content, a bit contradictory considering we were now well onto our third or fourth beer. 'Like he'd just be quite cold and distant with me,' he sighed.

I instantly felt bad. It was what I was doing to Orihime, clearly hanging on because I felt too guilty to finish it. Toshiro struck me as the kind of guy who fell hard for someone and from our short conversation I could tell he had been madly in love with this guy. And this guy, this idiot motherfucker had had no idea what he was giving up.

'Did you ever think about going back to study?' he asked and I smiled.

'Yeah but… Orihime,' I muttered, 'she'd never work to sustain herself and though I'd be fine living in a crappy little studio until I could get a proper job it isn't the kind of living environment she's used too.'

'Our situations are so similar and yet so different. Forgive me for saying this but you seem almost annoyed that she doesn't want to work and sustain herself?'

'Yeah,' I sighed, 'I am, completely the opposite of what Kusaka wanted you to do.'

'Have you spoken to her about it? I could give you a doctors note for stress as proof?' he chuckled and I smirked at him.

'Thanks but I'll be alright, I'll figure it out somehow.'

'Have you two managed too…' he trailed off, 'you know…' he tilted his head. His questions were getting bolder and more personal with the more alcohol he was drinking and yet all I could think about was his face. His beautiful, stunning, carved-by-angels like face.

'I-' I felt heat creep across my cheeks as I realised I was staring at him and quickly looked out across the now empty bar. 'Well, no, not really.'

'But you worked out what the issue was?' he probed.

'Yes.'

'Alright,' he was smiling and he opened his mouth again, 'is it some kind of sick and twisted fetish?' he asked with a smirk that seemed almost a little flirtatious. How the fuck was I meant to remember what was and what wasn't flirty? It had been so long since I'd had those wild days. Back when I did find some girls attractive and would get nervous excitement when talking to people who were attractive or were significantly cooler than myself.

'You could say that,' I teased as I took another drink of my beer. He blinked impatiently at me as he waited for me to continue or explain my answer but I didn't Instead I just grinned into my drink and watched him click his tongue in mild annoyance.

'Come now,' he drawled finishing the last of his fourth beer. 'That's not fair.'

'What isn't?' I asked innocently as the waitress came by with our next round. My vision had started to go that funny way it only ever did with alcohol to signify the start of the tipsy stage.

'You've got some kind of weird fetish and you won't tell Orhime about it,' he concluded sitting back in his chair. His small hand pulled his beer towards him and he drunk it down greedily. It was probably due to the lack of body mass as to why we were nearly hammered and we were only on our fifth beer. 'Is it bondage?' he asked cheekily and I chuckled. He looked good like this. He was much more relaxed, the flickering candlelight had sunk lower and my eyes had adjusted enough that I could see the crinkles in his eyes as he smiled and grinned and laughed with me.

'Well,' I was thoughtful, 'actually that never crossed my mind,' I sat there for a moment as I contemplated and met his eyes from across the table. The idea of Toshiro tied up and helpless as I got to do whatever I wanted to him. Yup, I could feel the blood rushing downstairs already. Then I thought about it the other way around, if I was tied up and blind folded with no idea what he was doing to me and that had a similar effect on my body.

'You bloody pervert,' he laughed at me across the table and I winced at how loud that comment had been, 'you're actually _thinking_ about it.'

'Shut up,' I groaned and he continued laughing. The sound was beautiful, like I'd always loved the sound of rain on treetops. I always thought there could be no sound more beautiful than that until just now. His laugh was hearty. It came right from his stomach and shook his entire being as he did it. Yet his voice didn't sound deep, his laugh was high pitched like that of a young teenager.

'Okay,' he finally said after calming down a little, 'if it isn't bondage then…' he was thoughtful, 'is it a fetish for red heads or something?'

'Orihime has red hair,' I smirked and he grinned at me.

'You two would have adorable little strawberry children,' that teasing tone was back in his voice and I felt my blush deepen.

'Shut up,' I laughed again but the words had no real bite behind them. 'I don't care about hair colour.'

But I prefer white hair.

'Okay, okay,' he chuckled and waved it off, 'let me think.' He brought a finger to his lips and sat with an adorable little thoughtful expression on his face. His large teal eyes blinking as he stared at a spot just above my hair. 'Is it something to do with body shape?' he enquired.

'That…' I muttered, 'plays a bit of a part in it yeah…' I mumbled again and he gazed at me even more curiously now.

'Is it-'

'Can we please stop playing "guess the fetish"?' I asked kindly, 'please, this is so embarrassing.' I groaned and he grinned at me across the table.

'Would you tell me if I told you one of mine?' he asked. That caught my attention, even though I had absolutely no plan to admit mine quite yet.

'Alright?' I lied a little, mostly I was just curious to hear what his was. Instantly he looked embarrassed and I watched a beautiful breathtaking blush creep up his neck and across his cheeks.

'Actually, never mind,' he muttered glancing back down at his drink, 'I'm not drunk enough for this.'

I flagged down the waitress again and she returned with two shots of tequila each.

'I can't believe you,' he mumbled as we lined up our shots and put salt on our hands. 'Do you have any idea what this stuff does to your body?'

'Does it look like I care?' I laughed, 'besides I barely drink, ready?'

'No,' he groaned but I counted us down anyway and we licked. My eyes watched his delicate tiny tongue lap at the salt across the flesh of his hand. I wondered how it would feel lapping across the head of my cock. Then we were taking the shots and finally the lemon slices. He made an adorable little face at the sourness of the lemon.

'That,' he groaned, 'was vile.'

'One more Toshiro let's go,' I laughed and watched with fascination as his tongue darted from his mouth again, so delicate and small and pink, just a split second to lap at the salt before disappearing. Then the shots were tossed back and I heard him make a strange noise of discontent as the lemon was placed back into his mouth. He groaned and took the lemon out, putting it into one of the glasses and sticking his fingers into his mouth to suck off the excess juice. He wasn't even aware of how sexy he was being without needing to try.

'Alright,' I grimaced, 'so this fetish of yours?' I asked and he brought his hands up to clutch at the fabric of his top. At first I thought he was going to try and awkwardly take it off, then I realised he was just trying to hide his face adorably into the collar of his polo shirt.

'This doesn't mean anything,' he groaned, 'and I promise I'm not coming onto you…'

What? Where the hell was this going? I could feel myself leaning eagerly across the table to try and listen to him.

'But _I_ have a thing for red heads,' he muttered and I barked a laugh at him. I couldn't believe it. 'Shut up,' he groaned again giving up with hiding his face in his shirt and settling for his hands instead, his tiny little hands barely hid much of his face no matter how much he tried to space out his fingers.

'Is that why you were carrying out all those "tests" on me at the beginning of the week?' I laughed and watched as an abashed look crossed his face.

No!' he almost shouted, completely horrified, 'I'd never ever abuse my-'

'Relax Toshiro,' I laughed loudly, it was totally hilarious to me the look of complete horror currently sitting on his face. 'I'm only winding you up.'

'As long as you don't actually think that I'd… that I'd ever…'

'What take advantage of an innocent guy by sticking your fingers up his arse?' I asked with a smirk as I took another few mouthfuls of my beer.

'Oh god, no,' he was waving his arms around like a cartoon character and I almost snorted beer out my nose. It actually hurt and I had to pinch the bridge of my nose. 'I'd never ever!' I shook my head and he spotted the look on my face. The beer felt like it was sitting at the back of my nose.

'Did you nearly snort that through your nose?' he asked and it was his turn to be amused now.

'Yes,' I groaned at the horrible pain.

'Karma,' he chuckled and took another drink of his drink. 'Anyway you owe me an explanation now, what's your crazy fetish?' he asked.

'Ah,' I hadn't actually planned on telling him and thinking about it logically it wouldn't be a good idea because he may think I had an ulterior motive for inviting him out for this meal. He deserved to know some of the truth though so I decided not to lie. 'Well, turns out I have a thing for girls with very short hair and small breasts.' I shrugged and he blinked at me.

'That's an odd one, not the short hair thing I've heard that before but most men would die to have a girl with big breasts.' He thoughtfully glanced at the space above my head again for a moment. 'Are you sure you're even straight?' he asked and I almost choked in my drink. He'd meant it as a joke and I tried to laugh it off with him in the hopes he wouldn't actually pursue the topic.

'So this girl of yours then, she must have long red hair and fairly sized breasts?' he asked and I sighed and nodded. 'She looks a lot like Rangiku except she's not as tall,' I said and Toshiro made a small impressed looking face.

'Not bad Kurosaki,' he chuckled, 'so really, that's it? Are you going to ask your wife to cut her hair off?' he asked and I groaned to myself.

'Let's not talk about any of that,' I mumbled and he sighed.

'Things going that badly huh?' he sussed and I just shrugged my shoulders.

'Let's change the topic, name something you have sitting on your bedside table right now?' I tried to fire the question out and he blinked and then blushed furiously.

'Why on earth would you ask something so bizarre?'

'Why aren't you answering?' I laughed.

'I don't know, what does every normal single man have sitting on their side table?' he mumbled drinking his beer. I frowned at him and tried to think logically.

'A picture of his family? His glasses? I don't know, you're meant to be answering the question.'

'Yes let's go with that,' he mumbled and ducked his head to hide his blush.

'No, that's not the answer,' I whined as I leaned across the table. Those two shots of tequila were hitting my system and my entire brain and face felt like I'd ran face first into a glass wall thinking it was an open door. 'Tell me the answer Shiro.'

'Don't call me that,' he groaned and glanced around, 'I don't know… some condoms and stuff?'

'What's the "stuff"?'

'Lube? I don't know,' he gave another little adorable shrug of his shoulders and I blinked and sat back on my chair. Was that seriously what every normal man had on his bedside table? I was clearly failing at life. 'What do you have on yours then?' he challenged back.

'An alarm clock,' I laughed, 'likely a glass of water with yesterdays dust in it now.' He frowned and scowled at me, crossing his arms across his chest.

'That's not fair,' he mumbled.

'Just because your answer is more embarrassing than mine,' I laughed and he groaned at me, 'doesn't make it unfair.'

'Yes it does, and it's not embarrassing,' he spoke a little louder, 'it's a perfectly normal thing to do.'

'So that's why you're blushing?' I smirked at him and he scowled again and gave up.

'Fine then tell me something you keep secret from your wife?' he smirked across at me and finished his… what number of beer were we on now? I'd lost count.

'That magazine that Kisuke gave me,' I chuckled and he grinned.

'I've heard of his famous magazine,' Toshiro chuckled, 'I've not seen one for myself though, next time we hang out you should bring it. I think it would be worth a few chuckles.'

'You dirty little bastard,' I laughed at him, 'you know you can get that stuff online for free right?'

'Yeah but I'm curious to see the girls that "helped" you,' he chuckled and I felt a blush creeping up my neck. Surely we were flirting… this just didn't seem like the kind of things friends would bond over… was it?

'We'll see,' I laughed and shook my head, 'does that mean you want to hang out again sometime?' I tried not to sound too hopeful but I did watch the smile slip from his face. 'Unless you'd rather not? I mean… I understand if tonight was a one off kind of thing?' I mumbled and he shook his head.

'No I'd love to hang out with you again, I think we got on really well.' He mumbled with a grin. It felt like my heart was soaring up into my throat at his words.

'Me too,' I chuckled and then we heard a toll for a final drink call. I couldn't believe it, I glanced around at the clock it was now nearly midnight.

'Crap,' I mumbled as I pulled my phone out my pocket. I had a couple of missed calls from Orihime, though I had told her that I was planning on going out for dinner with Toshiro tonight. I didn't want to lie to her and she knew he was due to take over the family clinic. She'd text me asking me to text back when I could.

'Is it Orihime?' Toshiro guessed as we both stood up, I realised he had not brought a jacket as I put my own across my arm and nodded my head.

'Yeah it is, I'm going to call her. I can't drive home so it's going to take me about an hour to walk back.'

'You can come and crash at mine, I only live a couple of blocks from here and you can walk back and get your car in the morning?' he offered and I felt my mouth go dry. It was an innocent offer but I wasn't sure if I could take him up on it without hoping for something else. 'You can sleep on the couch?' he said and I sighed. That seemed fair.

'Hello Orihime?' I said as she answered the phone, her voice was a little higher than normal and I calmed her down quickly. 'Yeah sorry we got carried away, just talking about work and stuff.' She already knew that Kisuke had recommended I spend more time out the house with friends. 'Listen it's going to take me about an hour to walk back so I'm going to crash on Toshiros couch tonight and drive back over tomorrow alright?'

She seemed a little sad that I would not be home tonight, but she could survive one night without me. It wasn't like I was oxygen or something. She reluctantly agreed and I thanked her with a bitter taste in my mouth before hanging up. I didn't like this whole idea of having to ask permission from another human being to do something I should be able to do. It made me feel like a child again.

'Everything okay?' he asked curiously from my side as I glanced down at him. I was nearly two heads taller than him, I hadn't realised just how tall I was before and I had to fight back the urge to grin at the prospect. I nodded in response to his question.

'Aren't you cold?' I asked him as we walked back to his a few minutes later. He grinned up at me.

'Not really, I'm naturally quite a cold person so it doesn't bother me,' he said and I realised he was right. The number of times I'd had contact with his hands he did seem very cold. I wondered if the inside of his body would be cold too. That was probably the wrong thought to be having. Then we heard a rumbling above us and the entire sky dropped an ocean.

It was pouring in seconds.

'Aww shit,' I cried and pulled my jacket off. My first instinct was not to throw it over my own head but instead I dumped it over the top of Toshiros.

'What the hell are you doing?' he gasped as we bolted down the streets. For such a small guy he was really fucking fast.

'My spikes look fabulous wet,' I called over the sound of the downpour as we neared a block of expensive looking apartments. It was a good thing we were both runners, it meant we had enough stamina and we didn't stop until we were outside the block of flats. He quickly unlocked it and let me in first. He pulled my jacket off his head and we both stopped to catch our breath as he handed me my damp jacket back.

'You didn't have to do that,' he mumbled and I shrugged.

'Hey now,' I pointed at where the water was dripping off my spikes. 'I told you they look good wet,' I laughed, 'I can't imagine your white spikes looking quite this good.' His eyes flickered up to the spikes on my head and I was sure he was staring at them for a few moments then he quickly turned away with a small blush on his cheeks.

'Yeah right,' he rolled his eyes and we made our way up the flight of stairs. He was on the third floor second door on the left. Number 10. Just in case I ever found myself returning back here it was good to know.

He unlocked his door and we stepped inside, the scent was overwhelmingly clean. He had laminated flooring in his hallway that looked like it extended into the kitchen and the living room.

'Nice,' I said looking around. He'd gone for a very clean white wall look and there were a couple of Japanese paintings on his walls including a large picture of a beautiful daffodil.

'Thank you,' he grinned, 'unfortunately it's just a one bedroom and I'd let you take the bed but it's not in the best condition right now and I'm pretty sure there's underwear in the covers somewhere from when I get too hot at night.' I turned to look at him and he was blushing again as he led me into an immaculate living room. I was almost curious to see the mess of his bed room and if it really was as bad as he made it out to be.

'Couch will be fine thank you,' I agreed glancing down at the lavish looking couch, it looked comfortable enough.

'I'll get you some pillows and a towel and stuff,' he shuffled out of the room and I sat down on the comfortable grey couch and glanced around. There was a beautifully large bay window that oversaw a large portion of the city. It had a comfortable looking window seat built into it. The walls in here were white too and there was a large picture of a forest in the snowfall directly above the couch. His design of the place was more elegant than homely. It didn't really looked lived in except the odd book that was lying on the edge of the coffee table, on top of the TV and then one on the window seat. He came back into the room and handed me towel that I ran through my hair.

'Thank you,' he touched my shoulder and I almost jumped away.

'Your shirts damp,' he commented as I brought the towel down off my head. 'Do you want to toss it over the radiator tonight?' he asked and shuffled his feet on the floor. 'I don't have anything that I think would fit you but you're welcome to sleep in your boxers if it's more comfortable.'

'Thank you,' I grinned at him and he held up the covers. I stood up as he placed them down over the couch. I put the towel on the only available radiator in the room and turned back. He was sat on the couch assessing his work of comfort as he brought a pillow down and I sat beside him. I didn't think twice about it as I started to unbutton my shirt. He'd seen me naked pretty much anyway, if you put the two halves together.

'I think you'll be-oh,' he jumped a little and I glanced over at him. His face was flushing that adorable colour of his again and I blinked at him. It was such a cute colour on his cheeks and his eyes flickered across my body eagerly before he swallowed thickly. Was he… was he attracted to me?

'Toshiro?' I asked, 'is everything alright?'

'Yes,' he spoke quickly but seemed unwilling to move. I wanted to make a move so badly and the alcohol was spurring me on. Droning at the back of my mind how I'd never get another chance like this again. He was so close and his teal eyes adverted and it looked like he was about to move.

'You're blushing,' I commented with a smirk as I shuffled closer while finally pulling my arms free of the shirt. I popped the buckle on my belt and he practically leapt from the couch.

'I'll let you get changed in peace,' his voice was a few octaves higher than normal and as he turned to leave I grabbed his arm. I was actually just planning on asking him for a glass of water but as he turned around he lost his balance and I ended up pulling him onto my lap instead. I wasn't actually anticipating how light he'd be or how easily he'd have been pulled back so though this was an accident it was an accident I planned on taking full advantage of. His entire face was lighting up red now.

'I-Ichigo?' he mumbled and I leaned close to his lips.

'Yes?'

'W-what are you-' he didn't get a chance to finish because in a desperate second when I saw that tiny tongue flicker around his mouth I knew I wanted it. I pulled him in close, wrapped my arms around his tiny body and brought our lips together. He sat ridged on my lap as he straddled me on his couch. He seemed to be having some kind of internal battle with himself then he moulded helplessly against me and I felt his plump little lips press back against mine.

It was like every sexual instinct in my body woke at once and my blood was rushing all over, pumping blood furiously as I parted my lips and his tasty cool breath infiltrated my mouth. I'd never felt desire this strong in all my life as my hands explored his sides. He was so small that my arms could wrap all the way around him and feel at his opposite sides. I began to stroke him lightly through the fabric of his polo shirt and he whimpered into the kiss. The sound was so beautiful and so incredibly arousing. He seemed to stop fighting his instincts and his arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer as that tiny little tongue infiltrated my mouth. It was cold and delicate as I brought my own out to gently graze against it. He stroked the side of my tongue eagerly with his own and his legs widened their stance to press his abdomen against mine. At first I had no idea what he was trying to do but as we broke for air he glanced down between us with a flushed face and mumbled something.

'Stupid jeans,' he groaned and I blinked for a moment not fully understanding what he meant when I glanced down. Then it clicked. He'd been trying to move closer against me to press his groin into me, but his jeans were stretched impossibly across my lap that he couldn't move any closer. I licked my lower lip and turned to flip him effortlessly onto his back. He gave a small yelp before I descended down on his mouth again. My erection was awake without any single issue right now, straining painfully against my boxers and jeans. Our mouths were moving together again frantically and I brought my hand down to try and rub him through the jeans but it was impossible to feel if I was pressing the right place or not. I'd never done this before, so instead I brought my hand up and popped his buttons easily. He brought his hands down to press against my chest as we broke for air and I moved down to his neck, as he gulped in the fresh air. I shoved my hand down his jeans and easily found his erection straining against the thin silk material of his boxers.

'Ichi-' he gave a low throaty moan as I palmed his erection through his boxers and I sucked rather harshly against his neck. ' _Ichigo_ ,' he groaned, his legs spreading wider for me and I moaned into his neck at the implications of his actions. Hearing my name on his tongue as it came out in a breathless moan was bliss.

'We can't,' he panted as my teeth lightly grazed over the pulse on his neck. I gave his erection another harsh palming and he moaned beautifully right into my ear. The sound sent a shiver down my spine and straight to my own cock which I knew was leaking profusely against my own boxers.

'Ichigo,' he groaned, 'we can't yo-you're married.'

I tried to shut him up with another kiss but as soon as I let go of his neck he took his opportunity to think more rationally and soon a hand was pulling my own out of his jeans and another was pushing against my chest. I pushed myself up and away from him. It was very clear he wanted me to stop and despite every nerve in my body gasping for it I would never force anyone.

We didn't say anything as we stayed in those positions, me sitting back on my ass with my face flushed and my erection straining against my jeans. Him lying down on his back, chest breathing heavy and –for the most part– fully clothed.

'We-' he panted, 'we'll talk about this tomorrow when we're both sober,' he quickly stood up and ran a hand through his hair. It hurt me that he didn't once look back as he left the room.

 **XxXxX**

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 **Thanks!**


	4. Bowling Blues

**A massive thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed! Sirius1696, Komory, ShiroShipx4, Nico Zi, Dsephna, Kristin! and DarkFary!**

 **You're all the reason why I continued to write this fic!**

 **Kristin, I think this was the first time you've reviewed a story of mine, or if you have before you didn't leave your name. I wanted to thank you personally, it would be amazing to hear from you regularly like the others. If you loved Youtubefully yours and you're a fan of the YukiShiro ship then I'd recommend 'Sex Games' to you as well =D Thank you SO much for your review. I adore reading reviews, you've no idea and I hope you leave me more in the future.**

 **XxXxX**

The next morning I had absolutely no clue where I was for the first couple of minutes. It's not a very good feeling let me tell you and I glanced around the white walls where the sun was bouncing its rays with a feeling of panic before I remembered. The covers smelled like a spring time fabric softener as I peeled them away and sat up with a groan. Toshiro must have still been asleep because there were no noises in the apartment as I reached for my jeans and pulled my phone out the pocket. It was just passed 7am and far too early to be awake on a weekend. However my head was throbbing and I needed to pee but in our drunken haze last night he hadn't exactly given me the tour and I didn't want to go opening doors to try and find the bathroom in case I stumbled into his own room by accident. So I knew I'd have to just stay put until he woke up. With a sigh I stood up and threw my clothes back on before sitting back down on the couch.

The kiss kept popping up into my mind over and over. It had taken me a bit of time before I'd managed to fall asleep but thankfully the alcohol had helped with that. Now that I was a little more sober I could think clearly and I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes as I tried to focus. That had not been my finest moment. That was not appropriate. Yes I thought he was stunning and I was sexually attracted to him and he was single but I was married. He'd made a point of reminding me of that and he was right, what I did was shocking.

I groaned and leaned back against the couch trying to focus on all the reasons why this was a bad idea so my mind wouldn't focus on how soft his lips were or how cold his tongue was. How small and delicate his tongue had been in my mouth. How his erection had felt through the silken fabric of his boxers. I grunted and shook my head trying to clear the thoughts away, they were the wrong ones to be having. Instead I should be focusing on the fact that I'd just cheated on Orihime. Everyone thinks about being with someone else at least at some point in their life. Even if the person they're cheating on their partner with a celebrity or a fictional character, we've all done it. And yes, maybe some would class my recently masturbation sessions as cheating on my wife but what had just happened last night couldn't be called anything but. I couldn't punt it off as a 'journey of self discovery' because it meant much more than that.

'Good morning.'

His voice went right through me. Remember when you were a child and your parents would say your name in that tone that you just knew you were in serious trouble? That's exactly what his voice sounded like right now. I kept my face in my hands as I decided to try and play everything off as a drunken mistake, maybe if I looked more hung over than I felt he'd let me off with a warning and we could continue being friends.

'Good morning,' I grunted back and refused to look at him. I heard him moving away from the room and I peaked out between my fingers. I could see his shadow on the opposite wall. He was in another room doing something. I wasn't sure what until I herd the tinkle of glass and then the sound of running water.

He came back through to the living room and his expression was unreadable. His jaw was set and he didn't look me in the eye as he sat the glass down on the table in front of me along with a couple of pills.

'For your hangover,' he said and went and sat down on a solitary chair to my left. I didn't say anything but reached across and took the pills and downed half the water in the large glass. When I finally had the courage to look at him again I noticed he was wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a slack t shirt which he'd obviously just thrown on before coming out his room.

'Where's your bathroom?' I asked after a moment of what seemed like rather awkward silence.

'Hm? Oh,' he pointed down the hall, 'second door on the right.'

I left the room and made my way to the bathroom, closing the door over I took a moment to splash some cold water on my face before emptying the entire alcohol of the night into the toilet. How I'd managed to sleep with that much liquid in my stomach was beyond me. I washed my hands and took a bit of time sniffing at the unusual bar of soap he had. It smelt like mint and tea tree oil. I was sure it must have been picked up from Lush because I could see a few other Lush products dotted around his bathroom. Not wanting him to think I was snooping or taking a shit I quickly left and made my way back into the living room. He had his bare feet crossed on the chair and was sipping at his own glass of water when I leaned against the door frame.

'I think we need to talk,' he mumbled and I felt my heart sinking. We weren't even dating and yet he made it sound like we were about to break up. I sighed heavily and walked over to sit on the couch.

'What about?' I asked, determined to play innocent which just earned me a glare from across the room. It didn't seem like there was any malicious intent behind that glare, more just that he seemed to be asking if that was a serious question or not with a look.

'What happened last night,' he put his glass of water down on the table. 'Ichigo do you like me?'

'Of course I do, you're a nice guy and a great doctor-'

'That's not what I meant,' he was looking right at me now those beautiful giant teal eyes boring into me, searching my soul. My mind was going into over drive, my heart was pounding in my chest and I was sure my hands were clammy too. It suddenly felt like I was in some kind of teenage chick flick.

'I don't…' I trailed off, trying to think of a way to avoid the looming conversation without much success.

'Are you gay Ichigo?' he asked outright, leaning his tiny body forward in the seat. His hands were clasped between his crossed legs and he was looking at me intently. 'Is that what you found out? Is that why you kissed me last night?'

Fuck, he was well and truly onto me now. I swallowed thickly but kept eye contact with him. Only guilty people looked away and I needed to look confident right now.

'No, I'm not gay,' I stated firmly back, trying to work my tone to sound a little offended at the comment. He considered me for a long time then narrowed his eyes.

'Then what was that kiss about last night?' it was hard to tell through my hazy morning eyes but he seemed a little annoyed now.

'I- dunno?'

'That's a lame answer Ichigo, that was more than just a tender peck on the cheek. Did you do that just to mess with me?'

'What? No!' I quickly rose from the couch and stared down at him.

'Then why did you do it?' Neither one of us had broken eye contact yet, 'because I think you're lying.'

'I- it's all confusing to me,' I muttered which was partly true. I looked at my hands now. 'I don't know,' it had been hard for me to accept that maybe, just _maybe_ I was a tiny little itty bitty gay. One thing was for sure though. My feelings for this stunning diminutive doctor were absolute.

'The magazine, you said it was women with small breasts and short hair,' he made a face as I turned to him, 'are you sure they weren't men?'

'I-' the blush on my face had given it away before I could even open my mouth and he let out a sigh.

'Was there an ulterior motive to inviting me out to dinner last night?' it was his turn to look at his hands clasped on his lap now as he fidgeted with the delicate fabric of his jeans.

'No,' I tried to say it firmly but I knew he'd argue again if I didn't offer him some kind of clarification. 'Look I wanted to thank you and genuinely want us to be friends.' I simplified, hoping he'd be happy to leave it there. He pursed his lips and looked up, regarding me with that intense teal gaze again.

'I don't think we should be friends Ichigo,' he said eventually and I felt my heart sink. I'd blown my chance and I knew it. He glanced back down to his bare feet and casually placed his hands on them. The movement made him seem a lot younger, a bit like a child grabbing their toes. My heart was falling through the floor and I had to do or say something before this ended for good.

'Toshiro… you're about to become the head Doctor of my fathers clinic, you work so closely with my family. Seeing each other is unavoidable, I just wanted to get to know you better. To perhaps become friends with the man who will be taking over my father's entire life work. I don't want things to be awkward between us and I'm sorry for last night. Something like that will never ever happen again.'

'How can you be so sure?' he glanced back up at me now and his stoic mask seemed to crumble a little. It was a difficult look to read but his expression seemed almost eager. 'How can you be so sure something won't happen between us again?'

'Well, I guess I can't give you anything other than my word. Please just give me another chance?' I pleaded. If I had been an outsider looking in, my desperation alone to retain some kind of connection with him would have been a dead give away of my feelings and intent. As it seemed he was almost as eager as me for something to remain between us. He regarded me with a bias mind and eventually sighed and nodded.

'But we need to establish ground rules,' he said and I felt my heart slowly returning to my chest as I sighed with relief.

'Alright, what kind of ground rules?' I asked, I'd happily agree to anything right now if it meant I'd just get to spend time with him again.

'Well, number one,' he held up his index finger, 'we probably shouldn't get drunk around each other again. One or two beers fine, but no more than that. It's not good for us anyway.'

'Alright,' I nodded my head. I could agree to that, I wasn't a massive fan of alcohol anyway other than the occasional beer or cider or glass of wine.

'Number two,' he held up a second finger and I tried to keep the smile off my face at how completely tiny his little fingers were. 'No more getting caught in the rain, because you're right your spikes _do_ look good wet.'

'Wait what-?'

'Number three,' he continued ignoring my attempts to interrupt him to find out more information about that last condition. 'No being alone together, ever. If we do anything we do it with other people or we go out in public. No staying over at each others places and no going anywhere alone.'

'Alright,' I still wanted to ask him about that second condition. To me it sounded like he may have been a little attracted to me and as the thought occurred I tried in vain to stop the smile gracing my lips.

'Is something amusing?' he asked and he quirked a brow adorably at me. Clearly he seemed a bit annoyed that I wasn't taking any of this seriously.

'No, no of course not,' I waved him to continue, 'please keep going,' I tried to get the smile off my face again but it wasn't working and the more I thought about it the more I smiled. If he did like me, maybe there was hope for us. It was strange to think of a possible future where me and Toshiro could be together like a married couple. Somehow that idea excited me more than any thoughts I'd ever had about my future with Orihime.

'Well,' he sat back on his chair, letting go of his foot and dropping his other hand, 'those are the only conditions I can think of.'

'Alright, they seem reasonable,' I smiled at him. 'But I wanted to ask you about the second one?'

'What about it?' there was no mistaking the small blush that was creeping up his neck and across his cheeks, which just caused my grin to widen.

'Do you find me attractive?' I asked, a ridiculously large grin now on my face.

'I-I,' he blinked stupidly up at me, 'surely you don't seriously have to… ask that?'

'You do?' I fought every urge in my body to make a move on him. Every fibre of me was screaming to reach out to him and touch him but I didn't want to blow this. Not again.

'Well,' he scowled and folded his arms while looking away, 'I wouldn't have kissed you back if I _didn't_ find you attractive, you twat faced idiot.'

'Harsh,' I chuckled, 'so if you are attracted to me, why didn't you say anything?'

'I am many things Ichigo Kurosaki,' he turned an intense teal gaze to me, 'but I am not a home wrecker.'

'Oh?' I tilted my head curiously but the smile slid from my face.

'You clearly have a lot going on in your life, and I think you should sort all of that out before you even pursue a relationship with anyone else, especially another man.' He said seriously and I blinked at him. Does this mean he'd want to date me? I wanted to ask but I didn't want to risk spoiling our chance at a friendship. Though it didn't entirely need to be vocalised that I was interested in him, I felt like if I did vocalise it, it would shatter this wonderful ignorance we were both pretending. If I could sort out my private life, then maybe… maybe we could be together. I continued to look at him and he quirked a brow in my direction. He was a beautiful, charming and amazing man and anyone could snap him up at any point. But a weight rested in my stomach at the thought of crushing Orihime. It wasn't something I wanted to rush. I didn't want to hurt her.

'Are you alright?' he asked after a moments silence and I turned my gaze to the door. My stomach was churning at the thought of hurting her. It was something I wanted to avoid. She was still a kind person and didn't deserve to be hurt by me because I fancied a doctor. But the longer I left this… the more time Toshiro had to find someone else.

'I'm fine, I suppose by condition number three, I should leave now?' I asked and he nodded at me.

'Yeah you should, do you want me to drive you back into town to get your car?' he offered, starting to stand up and I shook my head.

'No, it will give me some time to think,' I walked towards the door and he followed me out into the hall and towards the front door. I opened it and turned to leave. He was stood there rubbing one foot on top of the other as he gazed curiously up at me. I wanted so badly to reach down and peck him but resisted and quickly turned to leave before my resolve crumbled.

'Bye Toshiro, I'll see you soon,' I said firmly and left through the front door.

'Bye Ichigo, be safe.'

Even though it was the doctor in him actually wishing me to stay safe it still made my heart jump a little at the thought he cared.

 **XxXxX**

Over the course of the following few months I didn't find a decent enough time to speak to Orihime. I know, shocking.

I should pull the plaster off fast but every time I went to speak to her I'd get nervous butterflies and I'd pull back. She'd noticed a drastic change in my mood and though I was trying to distance myself from her in the hopes that once we did break up she'd feel less miserable. The improvement in my mood came with more demands to try again especially in the bedroom, which led me to a rather awkward and uncomfortable night two nights ago.

Orihime had asked me almost every other night to give things another go and though I kept denying she eventually snapped. She woke me up about 12am giving me a blowjob and though every cell in my mind was screaming at me to stop her, it had felt good.

It had led onto something more and we did actually have sex but the entire time I wasn't thinking of her. I was thinking of Toshiro. I knew that was horrible and wrong but I couldn't stop myself and I didn't realise the damage I'd done until afterwards. Thankfully we'd used a condom despite her complaints she agreed I wasn't in the right place for children just now. I did feel awful that I'd just given her this false sense of a future when I'd been trying to pull back.

It just meant this would all be harder on her when I eventually did end things. My anxiety had flared back up and I wanted nothing more than to return to work just so I could get some time to escape.

I did find some of that time though, when I got to see Toshiro every Friday night. We'd do a lot of things together, we'd go bowling, go see a movie, go ice skating or go for a meal together. Anywhere that was public with other people and as we agreed on our conditions we didn't get drunk or go back to each others places. We were literally never alone together. We even avoided movies with romance just to be sure but that didn't stop me from looking at him. Looking at him and wanting to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him.

When we were together we avoided the conversation about my relationship with Orihime and instead I just listened to him rant about work. Every now and again I'd get jealous when he'd mention seeing male patients and when he'd stop to speak to one he'd bump into while we were out. They often asked if I was his boyfriend, each time he denied it, it was like a small stab into my heart.

There were no guarantees that if Orihime and I broke up that Toshiro and I would even get together. We'd never talk about anything relating to a potential future like that which just made me want it more. I was conflicted, because I didn't want to hurt my wife.

'Earth to Ichigo,' he called impatiently and I glanced up as Toshiro rolled his eyes thrusting a thumb behind him in the direction of the bowling lane. 'I got another strike, it's your go.'

'Right,' I quickly stood up and went to pick up the dark blue ball which I used to bowl with. He always won every single time we played and you'd maybe wonder why I kept coming back to play against him but I enjoyed the way he partially bent to bowl even though it wasn't really necessary it did give me a good view of his ass. I wondered if he'd noticed because he stopped wearing tight skinny jeans whenever we came here. Though I was sure I caught him quickly looking away when I turned back around after taking my shot. I often got spares, sometimes I'd get strikes on the rare occasion and Toshiro would congratulate me with a condescending smile when I walked back. This time I got a split because I was distracted and I could hear the tinkle of his laughter behind me.

'Wanker,' I muttered under my breath as I turned to pick another of the dark blue balls up. How he could bowl perfect strikes while using a bowling ball half my balls weight was beyond me. I took down the pin to the left since my stance naturally favoured the left side of the ally and made my way back to where he sat looking smug.

'You know if you didn't tilt your head so much maybe you'd bowl straight,' he chuckled and I flipped him off.

'Shut up,' I growled at him which only caused him to smirk at me. He stood up and walked over to pick up his crummy lime green ball. He assessed the ally as he always did while the machine put down fresh pins and he bent over, shaking his ass a little as he bowled. I slapped a hand over my face and groaned, it was like he knew he was torturing me. How could a man go from thinking he was straight for practically his whole life to fantasising about another mans ass? How was that possible? And why was it so difficult to resist?

I removed my hand from my face just in time as Toshiro turned around from another strike with a smug smile on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and he stepped over me to sit down. The final scores were up on screen and I clicked my tongue. At least I was getting better and better every time we played.

'That's an amazing score,' a familiar voice called and I turned to see Renji and Rukia making their way over. I grinned up at them and Renji smiled down at me, his eyes flickering between myself and Toshiro. As per Kisuke's advice I'd been hanging out with Renji more and more as well. I'd actually opened up to him about my dilemma between Toshiro and Orihime but this was the first time for the two actually meeting. It had been Rukia that had spoken and she gazed up at the score board in wonder.

'Yeah, Toshiro is literally just amazing at everything he does,' I rolled my eyes and watched Renji smirk. Whatever he was here to do I hope he didn't embarrass me.

'Thank you,' Toshiro smiled pleasantly at Rukia.

'Sorry, Toshiro this is Renji and Rukia, guys this is Toshiro.' I introduced them and I watched with horror as Renji's smirk widened.

'So _you're_ Toshiro,' he chuckled, reaching out a hand as Toshiro stood up to greet him properly. 'I've heard _so_ much about you.'

'Likewise,' Toshiro grinned at him as I tried to warn Renji with my eyes from behind Toshiros back. Renji was taller than me which put him towering above Toshiro who was literally the exact same height as Rukia. Maybe he was half an inch taller than her, perhaps a full inch at most. He greeted her next and Renji smiled pleasantly at me before mouthing the words 'he's so short.' I waved my arms in a frantic attempt to stop him saying that out loud and he just chuckled at me.

'It's so good to finally meet you Toshiro,' Rukia smiled and he grinned back at her.

'What are you two doing here?' I asked narrowing my eyes at Renji again who looked like he was formulating a plan judging by that twinkle in his eye.

'Well my brother is watching Ichika tonight so we're getting some time off,' Rukia smiled, 'thought we'd have a date night.'

'That's lovely,' I grinned at them. Ichika was their daughter, she was beautiful but she was a handful.

'He's going to be watching her next weekend as well so we were planning on going camping like old times,' Renji added leaning over Rukias shoulder. 'Remember that Ichigo?' he grinned at me and I tried not to act embarrassed as Toshiro turned to glance up at me. We'd used to go camping back when we were teenagers and mostly it was a way to avoid parents while satisfying sexual urges. It was round about that time I'd had my first kiss and it was when Renji and Rukia first got together too.

'You two should come,' he added with a grin and I gulped glancing down at Toshiro. Toshiro seemed to be thoughtful, looking at the ground as he contemplated.

'We could each take our own tent?' I offered and he nodded his yes.

'I think the outdoors would do us the world of good,' his eyes casually slipped back to me and I wondered if his use of the word 'us' just meant me. I often wondered if he got me out the house more often than not just to try and help with my depression or if he met up with me because he maybe liked me a little. It was hard to tell. Just when I thought I'd sussed him out it flipped back the other way. It was both annoying and endearing in its own way.

'Alright,' I agreed finally and watched a malicious grin spread over Renjis face. 'I'll need to buy a tent,' I said as I tried to analyse that smile of his.

'No need we have a spare you can borrow,' Rukia said and I smiled back at her. We weren't doing great with money just now with me being off work so it would be helpful to borrow one rather than buying one of my own.

'Are you guys done with this lane or do you want to stay and play another game with us?' Renji asked.

'I'll have to call Orihime if I'm staying a little later. I turned to look at Toshiro who shrugged his tiny shoulders.

'If you want to be beaten at another game Ichigo you be my guest,' he smirked and Renji cackled.

'We'll see who beats who,' he stepped forward to put the names into the overhead and I sighed when I spotted 'strawb' being entered because 'strawberry' was too long to put in.

'He calls you Strawberry?' Toshiro chuckled at me and I glared down at him.

'If you ever call me that, you'll be stuck getting called "short fry"!' I threatened and he pursed his lips but nodded his understanding.

The game went by quite quickly and it was clear Toshiro was going to sweep the floor with all of us. He wasn't holding back at all but he did seem to cheer Rukia on the loudest. Maybe he took a liking to her because he finally found someone smaller than he was. They'd high five when one of them did well and it soon turned into a 'them' verses 'us' thing.

'If you two high five one more time,' Renji growled while gritting his teeth. Rukia had just high fived another strike Toshiro had gotten. 'So help me god,' he finished.

'You jealous bro?' I laughed at him, poking him harshly in the shoulder, 'Toshiro is kicking your ass.'

'He's kicking yours too,' he snapped back at me.

'He always kicks my ass, I've gotten used to it,' I rolled my eyes and watched as Renji went to take his turn.

Toshiro and Rukia talked between shots and I smiled, it was nice having Toshiro get along well with my friends. I'd always thought that Orihime didn't like my friends. Renji and I had gotten ourselves into a couple of situations where we'd have to use our fists to get us out of them and the roughing up always upset her. Rukia would simply kick Renjis ass worse than any guy could have and they'd be golden again but it would take me weeks to calm Orihime down despite it being the fact that I was the one who actually got hurt. I think she saw them as a bad influence and she would often say how she didn't trust them.

Yet here was Toshiro laughing and grinning along to everything Rukia was telling him about her daughter while the two poked fun at Renji like he'd known him for years and years.

'You're up Ichigo,' Rukia called and I stepped forward to take my shot. My last angle had been off by quite the bit and so this time I bent a lot lower to the ground to try and bowl a strike. It worked and I practically bounded back to the others where I saw Renji watching Toshiro with an amused look on his face as Toshiro complimented my strike with a raise of his bottle of water.

'First strike for a while,' I said turning to glance back up at the tiny screen.

'You always look so pleased when you get one,' Toshiro smirked at me and Renji rolled his eyes.

'Like you were watching his face,' he muttered and Toshiro stared at him aghast.

'What… are you insinuating?'

'That you were staring at his ass as he bowled,' Renji clarified rather loudly that other people glanced over.

'I-I was not!' his face was turning red with embarrassment and Renji was smirking down at him.

'He's just saying it to throw off your game Toshiro,' Rukia rolled her eyes as she glanced towards me. Her head was facing away from Toshiros and she mouthed to me; 'he totally was.'

I grinned stupidly and watched as Toshiro took another large drink of water and quickly stood up to take his turn. He nearly tripped over Rukias feet and he looked totally stiff as he took his shot. I watched his ball angle to the right and my mouth fell open when he didn't bowl a strike. He turned back towards us, his face even more on fire and he seemed to be muttering something under his breath. He had to wait for his ball to return because he was so used to getting strikes he only kept one ball for his use. When it arrived he got a spare but it was still amusing to me that Renji had so easily thrown him off his game with just a little bit of teasing. As he made his way back over to where we sat he refused to look at me.

'See Ichigo? To throw him off all you have to do is tease him,' my crimson friend smirked over at me and I grinned. Toshiro was scowling and as he sat down Rukia rubbed his arm soothingly.

'He's an asshole, just ignore him. Lord knows I do,' she rolled her eyes at Renji who stepped forward to take his shot. He held his ball up dramatically in front of him and I felt like I had to do something to avenge Toshiro, to show him I was on his side. Even if the information from Renji had caused my heart to swell and the image of an embarrassed Toshiro would linger in my mind for months. I wanted to get him back for my… short friend. I crept towards him as he assessed the ally and waited until he had thrown back his arm to take his shot to yell really loud in his ear. He started so badly he threw the ball behind him instead which caused many other people in the allies around us to laugh and point. He turned to glare at me and I thought he was genuinely going to punch me as I heard Rukia and Toshiro howl with laughter behind me. Renji went to pick up his ball, his face the same colour as his hair as I walked back to join the others, getting high fives from them before sitting down. Renji then bowled a terrible turn because he was still aware of everyone talking and laughing at him for what had just happened.

When he finally did come back to sit down and Rukia got up for her turn with Toshiro cheering her on. He glared at me and muttered under his breath, just loud enough for only me to hear.

'You'll regret that.'

It was a genuine threat, me and Renji were the pranksters of the office where we worked. We'd only ever prank each other and he'd mentioned that work was boring without me around. So I felt a swell of excitement rising in my stomach at the thought of it.

'Bring it on,' I muttered back to him under my breath as Rukia bowled her first strike and Toshiro leapt off his seat to give her a double high five with both hands in the air.

The game ended and Toshiro would still have won even if the other three of us had added our scores together. I voiced this to them more to annoy Renji than anything else.

'I think that's a slight exaggeration Ichigo,' Toshiro rolled his eyes, 'can you not math?'

'Nope, there are three types of people in this world Toshiro,' I said calmly, 'those who can count and those who can't.'

It took Renji a beat longer than Toshiro and Rukia to get the joke which just caused him to scowl.

'Ichigo how can you be so good at bad dad jokes when you don't even have a kid?' he teased and I ignored him like I always did.

'I like Ichigos dad jokes,' Rukia chuckled stretching as we made our way outside.

'If you like bad dad jokes I've got one,' Toshiro smiled, 'did you hear about the angry pancake?' he asked and Rukia shook her head eagerly. 'One day he totally flipped.'

She laughed a lot longer than I thought necessary for such a trivial joke but Toshiro seemed pleased with himself as he grinned at her.

'I loved that,' she giggled, 'I'm looking forward to next weekend now, if you have any more of those jokes please bring them.'

'Oh I will,' Toshiro smiled and Renji smirked.

'I'll bring the alcohol and the spare tend Ichigo,' he promised and I shared a glance with Toshiro. I know we'd both agreed not to get drunk but one or two bottles of beer should be okay? I figured we'd talk about it before we went since one of us would likely be driving there to save the environment. Toshiro was all about that so we often shared a car together since it wasn't exactly being 'alone' when one of us was busy driving.

'Alright, well text me the details and we'll meet you there,' I smiled and waved them off as we walked back in the direction of my car.

'They're lovely,' he said happily as we walked away and I felt my heart swell. Having him approve of my friends felt amazing.

'Yeah they're pretty awesome people,' I confirmed as we both got in the car. The car ride home was spent trying to come up with the best dad jokes to tell Rukia the following weekend and I watched – as I always did – to ensure he got into the block of apartments safely when I dropped him off.

Now all I had to worry about, was whatever plan was cooking in Renjis mind that day. Whatever it was I was sure he was going to try and pull something while we were on this camping trip together.

 **XxXxX**

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